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My 1st post! Married to a wonderful man, who wants children. I'm not the loving sort of person and I'm 100% sure that I never want children, does that make me a bad person?
Yes, it's normal that you don't want children. Not everybody wants to have kids. Why would that make you a bad person?
Sucks, you guys should have probably cleared this up before you got married. If you can't compromise, I can't see you two being together much longer.
Yeah, that is nothing out of the ordinary. Many people say that they don't want kids, (just ask the search bar).
You might change your mind someday though :)
Children are annoying, loud, disease spreading, little cash suckers. And I'd be even MORE of a selfish prick to have my own kid, spread my own DNA with how many orphans ore basically being executed in Syria and china. Is it any coincidence that tons of Chinese born adopted Americans find needles or broken glass shards when they get their first GI X-ray?
if you decided in the begining that you didnt want kids and ur husband agreed then its hardly ur fault if he changes his mind, saying that the urge to have children can be very strong and it could split you and ur husband, counselling is a great first step but ultimatly it just comes down to what you want and whether your willing to compromise.
i know of a woman who didn't want kids and her partner deliberatly sabotaged her birth control which ended in a pregnancy she really resented her partner and although she loves her son she hates the position she was put in and she nolonger trusts her partner, she feels her life was ruined.
so don't do anything that you don't want.
It's your prerogative and you have the right to not have kids if you truly don't want them! However, how will you skirt around the issue with your husband when you know he wants them? It may make things uncomfortable in the relationship and some give and take will have to be implemented along the way. At any rate, your decision does not make you a bad person, in fact...it's a great thing that you're not one of the irresponsible people bringing unwanted children into the world...knowing full well you didn't want them. I hope at least you and your husband come to some sort of agreement and that the two of you will find something else that can be shared in the relationship...besides your love.
No, it does not make you a bad person.
This man obviously wants to be a parent, and you are not obligated to take on pregnancy for what he wants in life.
However, if he leaves you to find a woman that also wants a child, thus giving him what he wants out of a relationship more than you have, you cannot blame him for it.
Thanks for your advice, we've spoken about counselling and it looks promising. He's under the impression that there's something wrong with him, but after some thinking I've come to realize that I might not be able as I've never used any form of birth control. We had a wonderful discussion last night. Things are going to get better!
You're not a bad person. Not wanting to have children is normal even if it is not very common yet. Although, you might have a bit of a problem if your spouse wants them and you don't.
Hi, that's just it ... After 7 years he changed his mind. We had an agreement not sure what to do next!
Try some marital counselling and see if it helps. It's frustrating when spouses change their mind after several years of marriage. I know a woman who was married and after six years her husband said that he was not open to having children with her any more and it broke her heart. It was one of the primary reasons why they split up.