Is it normal that i don't love back?

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12 Comments

Ok, I like people, and I like people to like me back. That's natural, and I understand that. Here's the problem; when there's someone I'm attracted to, I spend a lot of time and effort thinking of ways to get them to be interested in me. Its constantly on my mind, and all of my actions around that person are aimed to manipulate their emotions (not in a bad way tho, just normal manipulation). Once I gain their affections, (I always do(except this one time)) I'm happy and continue. However, as soon as the other persons emotions begin to develop into something deeper, I panic. Once the word 'love' gets into things, I start shutting down. All of my feelings towards that person disappear, and I can't, I'm literally incapable of loving them back. I've tried. I know its wrong, and I know I might hurt people, so I REALLY REALLY TRY REALLY HARD to make them happy.I play along, I agree to be their girlfriend, I try to say all the right things, but I just can't do it. After a few days, I usually just end all communication with the person. Believe me, I don't want to be this way, I'm not trying to be bitchy, I just can't love back... Help?

Voting Results
35% Normal
Based on 20 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • dom180
    9 years ago

    The best thing you can do to make them happy is make it clear from the start that you like them but you have commitment issues. Going through the motions is deceitful and it will hurt them far more than honesty in the long run.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    ...normal manipulation?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      yeah, isn't normal to manipulate people? how else do you get what you want? I'm sure you manipulate people as well.

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        It it's selfish and unhealthy to manipulate people. You can't always get what you want. It's much better to accept life on life's terms. How do you feel about others manipulating you; is that okay?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Lets be real, you probably get manipulated a lot. We don't live in a perfect world, and manipulation doesn't always have to end up hurting another person. Hence my distinction between normal manipulation, and bad manipulation. Most people don't even know its happening, and its not like I take away peoples free will, I just get them to agree with me. Wheres the harm in agreement? Its better than argument. And if someone was manipulating me, and I didn't realize it, then good for them, they must have some real special skills. And if they were trying to manipulate me and I realized what they were doing, I would make a point of not giving them what they want. They're obviously not good enough to get it.

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          • RoseIsabella
            9 years ago

            What's the point of going through all that trouble if you can't even love them back? It's still selfish to manipulate others into giving you want when you're incapable of returning the favor. There's plenty of harm in agreement if agreeing with you causes the other person to violate his or her conscious. Arguments aren't so bad if their honest. What's best is to agree to disagree. If someone doesn't like you as much as you'd like instead of obsessing over the person and 'getting the person' to do what you want why not just accept that individual along with the situation?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              I guess. But its harder that way. I manipulate naturally, ever since I was younger. But you make a compelling case, so I guess I can try it your way.

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          • Freedom_
            9 years ago

            I fucking hate being manipulated, but I have given props when it's been done well and with pure,good intentions. But trust me, if I find you out and I happen to disagree with your position significantly, you earn my disrespect.

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  • hootiemomma
    9 years ago

    You must have unresolved childhood issues. I suggest therapy so you find a way to accept love and love back. We all need love!

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  • Thatguy777
    9 years ago

    You sound like the first girl I fell in love with....and I regret everything that happened with her.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Do you think it would have been better if she just went along with it, or if she was honest about commitment issues from the beginning? Or do you wish y'all never met at all?

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