Is it normal that i don't like to do the things my boyfriend does?

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12 Comments

So I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 4 months and there is a 10 year age gap(21 &31), but I don't think that our age gap is the problem. It could be because I'm only 21, I mean things are good, sometimes great. There is love and affection in our relationship, but we argue quiet a lot and it's mostly about things he likes and what I like, the way he talks to me and focuses on sports a lot.

We argue because he's a sports fanatic x100(like most guys), but it annoys me because that's honestly what he rather talk about or watch, but me on the hand I'm the type of girl who like to talk about stuff on Facebook, Instagram or the news. And also he works 5 days a week graveyard shift and gets Saturday and Sunday off and Saturday is the only day we hang out because during the football season he hangs out with his buddies to watch the game. Which in my opinion isn't fair to me, but he says he will never change Sundays...

I have a friend who's been with her boyfriend for less than a year and she says that things have been going great because they do lots of things together, and she'll watch a game because he wants to watch it or he'll do something he doesn't like just for her.

I get that most couples do things they don't like just to please their significant other, but I don't want to be that type of girlfriend who does things that I don't like just to please him, when he doesn't wanna do the things I like either. It's a love/hate relationship. I understand that doing those kind of things could give you a happy healthy relationship, but to me they seem fake because they(other couples) know that's how their relationship will be "forever" but yet it's not.

What am I suppose to do when honestly I feel unhappy at times because to me that's all he focuses on...? I don't have many friends to talk about this too or family.

So is it normal that we're not like that? Do you think it's selfish of me to not like or do what he likes and vice versus? Are you like that with your partner, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend? Will we last? What should I do?

Please give me some advice.

NOTE: I am sorry if the whole thing is scrambled around and it's hard to understand...

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61% Normal
Based on 23 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • CozmoWank
    10 years ago

    It seems like your boyfriend expects you to go out of your way to please him but he doesn't want to do anything out of his way to please you. Kind of selfish on his part and sort of a lopsided relationship. Why should he want to change if you're willing to put up with it? I guess you just have to ask yourself "how long am I willing to put up with this?"

    It is not at all selfish of you to want to be treated as a valued equal in your relationship.

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  • Acerbic
    10 years ago

    It's common and even healthy that you guys have some dissimilar interests- he can do his thing and you can do yours. I think the problem is that, unlike a lot of couples, you don't have any similar interests to balance that out.

    I don't think he's going to change and nor should he, but it's not selfish of you to want to do things together that you both enjoy. You shouldn't have to pretend to like something if you don't, but you also shouldn't get jealous or angry at him for doing the things he loves.

    If you feel neglected by him spending time doing his own thing, you should go out and find something that you enjoy on your own, too. Often, people in relationships lose themselves and forget that they're individuals. If you take some pressure off him and do some things that you're passionate about on your own, he'll want to spend more time with you simply because you're not always available and needing him to be there.
    The best relationships are the ones where both people are happy and fulfilled on their own- the relationship just adds to that in a wonderful way.

    Maybe you guys could try to find something you can do together. Talk to him- bring up ideas and brainstorm. That in itself is something you guys can do as a couple. In trying new things together, you'll probably find something both of you really like and strengthen your relationship in the process.

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    YOu have to have some similar interests to make a relationship work and both of you have to make some sacrifices. If you watch a game with him, he do something with you that you like.

    You should also try your best to find a mutual interest because otherwise I doubt this will work out,

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      No. You have to be the butt slut. I don't want to be the butt slut!

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      • (s)aint
        10 years ago

        For me? pls.

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      • LoveJ
        10 years ago

        We do have some similar interests. I'm 21 and he's 31 there's just things he likes more. He would rather watch tv and stay on the weekends when I would rather go out and do stuff. It's hard to compromise when we like different things.

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  • megadriver
    10 years ago

    LONG COMMENT COMMING THROUGH
    Kinda selfish to say "I don't like to be that sort of girlfriend"
    So I assume you want him to do everything you want, talk about facebook gossip and celebrity news, but you won't do something he likes (like watching the game)...
    Tell me why? Cause in a relationship both man and woman must make sacrifices for the better. Also try find new activities you both enjoy.

    I for one, always make sure my car looks and runs perfect. My girlfriend isn't interested in cars, nor car detailing. But she comes with me when I wash, wax/ polish my car. She helps me, cause she loves me.
    I hate wasting time at the mall, but I drive her there and hang out with her, cause I love her.
    However she loves going on a drive with me. We do that. We both enjoy it.

    I like watching action movies, sci-fi and normal comedies, she likes romantic comedies, celebrity gossip and other girl stuff. One time we watch an action movie, the other - something of her choice.
    Most of the time we watch my stuff, cause she doesn't mind. She follows her news, shows and other stuff on facebook, while I play GTA XD walks by the river. We do that. We both watch normal comedies (without the high-school romance) and we both enjoy them.
    We love making a nice romantic dinner. She prepares the table and helps me with the cooking. We light up some candles and enjoy ourselves.

    I think both of you should resolve the problem to make this work. Find stuff to do together and respect each other's interests.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    I dunno, my Mom and Dad watch football together. My dad would rather watch football with the family than a bunch of guy friends. We're all watching the Superbowl together and my aunt even brought her dog; it's nice. My uncle used to come with her but he passed away.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Seahawks won. Broncos got murdered. Your cat is going to be a sacrificial offering to a satanic cult and then turned into burrito meat.

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        So, I never said who I was rooting for.

        Anyone who tries to harm my cat is going down! Seriously, I will cut a mutha fucka's throat and shit. That's how I roll.

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        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          Andrew will make a nice plump burrito.

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          • RoseIsabella
            10 years ago

            I'd rather watch people starve to death than let them eat my best friend or any dog or cat.

            So what's with this stupid trolling my load blowing friend?

            *offers Gatorade*

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