Is it normal that i don't have many friends?

89% Normal
6 Comments

Hi. I'm a 20 year-old girl, a first-semester freshman at a university, and the oldest of 6 kids on my mother's and father's sides. I don't think I'm an ugly person at all, and I'm not socially clueless (maybe just a little awkward/shy). I've known people that were really quiet that have lots of friends, people that some would consider "lame" to have friends. Why is it that I don't have many friends?

Growing up, I've never had many friends at all. Most people have people that they can get in touch with to go out with or hang out with, but i don't have that. I can scroll through my contacts in my phone and there is no one that I can text/call and ask "hey, wanna hang out?"

I have a few close friends, but one is at the community college in my hometown because of her baby, and the other two are guys and are even farther away. I attend school about 3-4 hrs away from home. I haven't made many friends here, either. I made a few, but me and one of them had a falling out, and me and the others just drifted apart, so now I'm mostly alone. I'm mostly "cool" with people, but it's hard to connect on a "friend" level.

All my life I've felt like I just couldn't "connect" with anyone. Sometimes I feel kind of tense, or nervous, or like I don't have anything to say. No one has ever really hated me for any reason. I'm a lot less shy than I was when I was younger, I'm a nice person, and the few people that have gotten to know me over the years love me. But it's always as if everyone has "cliqued off" and then there's just me.

I do like my space sometimes, but I wish I had more friends, too. I'm not trying to be popular, but I do want to make a connection with people. Is this normal? Does anyone else feel this way (or has felt this way) or have any tips?

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 83 votes (74 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • luicyyou
    12 years ago

    dont worry its normal you'll get a friend sooner or later

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  • woolworths
    12 years ago

    You and I, my friend, have exactly the same problem. Sorry I can't advise you, though.

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  • nj3190
    12 years ago

    I also do not have many friends at all. Of course my parents think I am anti social, but the truth is that I am in denial, and my thinking process is that I ask myself what can he or she do for me ? I than might regress to the high school days, of being used for having a nice car (I was the new kid). The truth is that I will probably always be the odd one out, but I learned a saying from my favorite NFL Players, Ray Lewis, he said, "good is fitting in, but greatness is fitting out". I think that is how I am meant to live by, fitting out.

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  • redsoxforlife
    12 years ago

    And I have the exact same problem as well. It makes you feel really sad sometimes. :(

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  • herroyerro
    12 years ago

    This sounds like me a few yrs ago. I used to be super self-conscious, & i felt like i'll never be as cool as my friends. I never really valued my relationship with them either b/c some of them were backstabbers. But now that i've moved schools, ive started to become more outgoing, and i've made some new friends. But it's still hard for me to connect with ppl on a deeper level(unless ive known them for long time) :/ but my advice is that you should start joining some clubs that interests you and hopefully meet likeminded ppl. Also, try to be more talkative and ask more questions so you can get to know them better(:

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  • flightlesskiwi
    12 years ago

    I also have this problem. So at least you're not the only one. I don't know what causes it either, though.

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