Is it normal that i don't care when people die

80% Normal
12 Comments

Beginning January 3 of this year, several (5 actually) close relatives and friends, people that I saw or spoke to at least a few times a week suddenly died (not at the same time). Everyone around me was in mourning (and some still are) but I didn't/don't feel anything. At the funerals I'd have to think sad thoughts in order to make myself cry and appear sad as I was ALWAYS seated in the front row or "immediate family" section.

I loved all of them dearly but I never felt a bit of sadness at deaths. The only time I cried was when I had to go in and identify a body, I'm still not sure if it was the loss, or the fact that there was a fresh dead body lying in front of me.

I was most shocked and ashamed at my reaction to my uncle's death, he was like a father to me (he loved me more than all 5 of his kids). My mom lost a brother and my grandmother lost a son and when they start talking talking about it and getting choked up all I can think is "Oh god...just GET OVER IT already! I wish that everyone would let it go, he's dead, she's dead, THEY'RE DEAD!"

I feel like such a horrible person and it makes me sad to think that I get more depressed over my ex-boyfriend not loving me that I do about my paternal grandmother dying.

I sicken myself.

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80% Normal
Based on 378 votes (304 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • AngelOfDeath
    14 years ago

    thats normal, but then again im a nihilist so i would say that.

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  • ryanthony
    13 years ago

    Everyone interprets death different, the way it sits with you is different from everyone else. Our attachments to those deceased, they vary from so many different ranges and being stoic and still and "solid" is not a bad thing.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. To say you're "unaffected" is not true, you just have a kind of wall built against it, maybe something happened to you when you were an infant, maybe you saw something and your subconscious developed a defense against against it.

    Not trying to build some sort of trauma that wasn't there, so don't read too into that.

    Naturally, it's common and seen a lot that people don't feel the sadness a lot of people do. A lot of "Guys" have a hard time expressing these difficult emotions, has a lot to do with the way they are perceived by the rest of the world, an image.

    But if you don't feel any guilt or remorse for other things, when you've lied or wronged someone, as well as a hollow feeling when someone is deceased, you might seek therapy, but you don't need anti-depressants to feel.

    It's hard for us to discover how we're supposed to react to everything.

    Like I said, so long as you feel guilty about stealing or lying or cheating you're normal. Death is too difficult for anyone to understand completely.

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  • Nina_Neko
    14 years ago

    I feel your pain... I can't cry too, I am sad for several days, then poof! some people can't get over it and I'm also like GET OVER IT! I'm really sickening my self too, my grandma died who was like more of a mother to me, and I only cried once and then got over it. I'm really ashamed by the fact that I cried waaaaay more about the book character's death with pure sadness and mourned him for more then 6 months, even thought its fictional. and I felt more sad when finished the book. I only cry on the first day and then my mourning is over.

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  • bravestpepper
    14 years ago

    Sorry about your ex-boyfriend. =(

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    • PsychoNikki
      14 years ago

      LOL Braves thanx. I still get sad about that :[

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  • stone_love
    14 years ago

    I think that's ok. It just means you see life as a bigger picture than others. You realize that things will go on, death is natural, and you enjoyed your time with this person and now it's time for that chapter to end. I'm kind of the same way. It's a way of always staying grounded and optimistic and looking ahead to a brighter future.

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  • prasanna1995
    3 years ago

    After my brother died when I was 10 it's been like that I don't care people die.

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  • Derangedwonderland
    5 years ago

    Yes it is normal. I am the same way. I laugh at death, I don't know why.
    I believe it is mostly jealousy on my part. Maybe from being near death too many times. Screw rest that think you're crazy, you aren't, it is just how some of us are.

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  • Delyndra
    14 years ago

    Im this way too. when someone dies yeah i miss them but i really dont feel sad. i gess its just the way we cope wit it. in fact i have depression and when someone dies i actually feel normal for a long time. its like i cant be deppressed or sad in anyway when someone dies. sometimes i even want to celebrate. i know itsharsh so i normally hole myself up so no one can talk to me and i hear them whispering about how devastated i am. but really im just trying not to laugh or go out and party in front of everyone. shrug i guess we all die

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  • Kat444
    14 years ago

    I think it's normal. People die, we're all gonna die someday, and it's just not a big deal to me. I've never lost someone really close to me though, so I don't know for sure whether this will hold for when it happens.

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  • strawberrysnowcone
    14 years ago

    It's reality that people have to die one day. It's not a bad thing that you can get over the situation and face it easier that others.

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  • MissNatalie
    13 years ago

    Either your soul is black or you are in shock. Probably the latter.

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