Is it normal that i don’t want to live with or go out with women anymore?

85% Normal
23 Comments

First, this isn’t about me turning gay. I don’t want to have romantic relationships with guys.

I got divorced about 15 years ago and have been dating ever since. After the divorce, I wanted to have another woman in my life and expected to get married again. But, I’ve been careful to try to find a great match and avoid another failed marriage. A couple relationships lasted about 3 years, but most of them much shorter. The problem is the women I’m meeting all seem to be swirling in drama and complications. When I go hang with the guys, it’s all about having a good time and mostly light-heartedness and I know they have my back. When I’m around women all too often there is some kind of drama, rumor mongering, conniving, and negativity. Living with the women I’ve gotten close to has not been great either - just so much negative energy. I know there’s that wonderful, nice woman out there, but giving up on finding her.

Now I’m seriously considering just staying single forever and giving up on having a romantic relationship. I don’t really want to be a loner, so I’ve even considered sharing my place with a buddy, or two. Companionship without all the drama. Is this a normal way to feel?

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 27 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • JD777
    5 years ago

    I can relate. I was divorced long ago and still single. There are cool women out there among the multitudes of drama queens. Just keep open to finding one. In the meantime, think twice about roomies. They can be a hassle and hard to get rid of if they don’t work out.

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  • drat
    5 years ago

    That's fine. Not sure what methods you were using to find these women, but you may actually find a more stable partner when you're not looking..you know? It just sort of happens sometimes.

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  • jethro
    5 years ago

    Why do you feel that you even have to share your place with a buddy or two? Can't you have male friends without living with them?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      I don’t really enjoy living alone. Plus, the economics aspect is appealing.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        I don't necessarily think it's economical, but I prefer to live alone with my cat. Roommates are a pain in the ass for me. I haven't had any roommates since I got kicked out of the dorms in college. I hope, and pray that I never have to have roommates again. I gotta get my shit more together.

        To each his own, but living alone is divine to me. I only want a dog for my cat, and I.

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        • leggs91200
          5 years ago

          I have someone living with me. What makes it work is this -
          Though I am not really profiting much from her being here, it is also not costing me. She at least pays her way.
          We live similar lifestyles. We like it quiet, both LGBT, not into drugs, keep a clean home, and respect each other's space.
          My main rule I told her I am very strict about - she is NOT to bring anyone in to "stay". Friends for the day or stay the night is cool but not to live.

          It sounds like you are concerned you might have to room up with someone in the future? At some point before that (should it come to it) just really think about what type of people you could or could not live with. If you bring someone to live in YOUR home, just make sure they know not to bring their own "guests" to live. EVEN IF it is a sister who got kicked out for getting pregnant, a brother who just got out of prison, etc.

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            Especially not if it's a brother who just got out of prison!

            I just want to get my shit together and continue to live alone.

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        • CupcakeLover14
          5 years ago

          You're probably too much of a bitch to be able to live with anyone else. I feel bad for your cat, you've probably crippled it enough so it's forced to think that it needs you to survive. Animals should never be domesticated. They should never have to put up with owners like you. You're sick.

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          • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
            5 years ago

            'Animals should never be domesticated'

            yeah ok nutjob

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            Sounds to me like I hit a nerve with you somehow, and you have some sort of personal problem?

            I mean honestly, why do you care whether, or not someone like me on the internet whom you have never met would prefer to live alone, and not have roommates?

            As far animals are concerned dogs were domesticated 15,000 years ago, and cats were domesticated 10,000 years ago. Domestic animals and humans need each other.

            Why are you so angry, what is your damage, dude?

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            • CupcakeLover14
              5 years ago

              Yes, you offended me and insulted my mental state. Some people don't appreciate your brash insensitive comments and you hurling accusations. You compared me to a joke or someone that's a jester. You basically told me my mentality and how I think and what I do are beneath your reality. So yeah , fuck you.

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  • paracetamol
    5 years ago

    Hundred percent normal.

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  • leggs91200
    5 years ago

    Being a woman means two things -
    - constant ailing (usually some undiagnosable illness)and
    - having constant drama/having "depression".

    Since you divorced 15 years ago, I am going to assume you were at least 20 when this happened, meaning you are now 35 or over. Understand that at some point in our 30's, we get to a point where we are unwilling to put up with as much bullshit. We know that the reality of relationships isn't -quite- like those dating commercials make it look.

    Now the funny part, you said -
    "I know there’s that wonderful, nice woman out there, but giving up on finding her."

    Exactly. There is but ONE woman on the planet who is wonderful and nice. The problem is that she could be ANY place on earth but no one is sure where.

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    • SwickDinging
      5 years ago

      Jeez, what women have you been hanging around with? They sound shit.

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  • SwickDinging
    5 years ago

    In my experience you don't find the right person until you've completely stopped looking.

    Also if you're old enough to be 15 years divorced then the women you're dating are probably all old enough to have lots of baggage (ex husband, kids, criminal record, debts, health problems, that kind of stuff). Baggage brings drama. Not sure what you can do about that one

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  • IrishPotato
    5 years ago

    Don't isolate yourself but it's perfectly normal.

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