Is it normal that i dislike my own toddler?

Been there girl :o) You must use reverse psychology at all times coz this wee man knows which buttons to push with you!

Looking at the points you made....
To talk to him, get down on your knees and speak face to face so he can see how your lips move as you form words. Hold his arms if necessary so he can't ignore your or run off. Do not assume the TV will teach him how to speak - as my friend did. Her child watched Shrek 6 times a day, but couldn't speak at the age of 5. I wonder why?!>

NEVER give him the opportunity to say no! "Do you want to wear the blue OR green tee shirt?" Does not give him no as an option - so always a choice of one or the other. Takes a bit of practice!

If he shows his bottom, get down and tell him clearly that the next time he does it, you will smack that bare bottom - coz that must be why he's showing it to you ;o)

Use a velcro wrist strap so he can't run away. My son was nearly killed when he ran out between 2 parked cars onto the road, thinking it was funny :o(

If he has a tantrum at the mall. Stay calm and tell him if he doesn't get up you will have to leave him. Walk slowly away, and he will get up and follow!

Remember who's the adult!! He can't buy junk food and if he's hungry he will eat what you give him. I can recommend 'Toddler Taming' by Dr Christopher Green who states in his book that no toddler has ever starved to death in the Western world while there's been food on the table. Nor should you panic if the child doesn't eat for way more than a week. Let's see who can be more stubborn, you or him!

BTW do not give him fruit juices to drink or you will ruin his teeth, and it made my son hyper!! Only give him water to drink.

He's playing you off against your mom as he would divide and conquer you and your partner - ignore him, he's safe with your mom.

You may need to buy ear plugs as I know that your own son's cries are like needles in your brain.

I found that all these little tricks worked with my rascal, and I learnt to use reverse psychology so that he never thought he was in control. For time out, I put mine in the hall and closed the door to the room I was in, he kicked and head-butted it - but it's like a dog pulling on a lead, they never do it hard enough to really hurt themselves. The worst punishment you can do is to ignore them coz it's been proven that children want attention, even preferring violence, to being ignored.

My advice is to discipline before you really get angry or you will lose control. You don't need to smack him, but I'm sure he understands what you're saying and be firm when you say it! Remember that you are much stronger that him, so you can pick him up and carry him out of any situation.

Always remember that you are the parent so you lay down the rules. There will be consequences if he doesn't abide by them!

Finally, get yourself some help so that you can have a wee break for a couple of hours and whatever you do, don't kill him!!!

very strict + plus lack of love = bad behaviour

From what I have seen in my life and what I have read, this is part of the toddler stage of growing. He is testing his boundaries with you. You will need to have a firm but fair, tough but loving demeanour with it. He is testing to see what he can get away with. I know when I was a toddler and I did that, I got my little butt worn out by my mother. She would spank me with her hand or even sometimes a wooden spoon she kept handy. Is spanking needed? I don't know. There is a lot of controversy on the subject. I guess the best thing for you to do is to take care of the problem the way your mother did with you or your siblings. You obviously turned out alright, from what I have read anyway.
His behaviour is out of line and he needs to be taught it is out of line. If you do not get a handle of it while he is still a toddler it is going to be worse when he is a teenager. I have seen that and read about that too.
If you feel like you need it, go and see a specialist.
If he has issues with not being able to see you, that is fine but he is going to have to accept it as fact that you have to work and learn to deal with it. You are really doing it for his own good and once he is old enough to understand he will understand your sacrifices and will be grateful.

Prayer as well. The Serenity prayer and also do not be afraid to cry and let out penned up frustrations. But try not to coddle too much. It is fine to be a loving mother, but do not coddle him, that is excuse bad behaviour, discipline it.

Of course he doesn't listen, he's 2 years old ! You really think you weren't a pain in the ass when you were his age ?

test him for autism. see a doctor. God bless you and your son.

Who is this??? Casey Anthony???

Welcome to parenthood.

People the age between 2 and 5 are usually quite badly behaved. However, I wouldn't worry about teaching the language yet. People can pick things up fast usually under the age of 18 as their brains develop so he should be able to learn it later on

i think we have a new spanish casey anthony .

I think this site is getting meaner. Pick and choose which comments are helpful and ignore the rest.

I think part of this situation is due to his age; you didn't create the term "terrible twos.". And I think part of this problem is due to his lack of time with you. Perhaps he feels insecure about where he stands with you, or unsure of your permanence in his life. With that said, kudos to you for working so hard to make a better life for you and your son. (He just doesn't understand that.)

Take him in for an appt. with your pediatrician and tell the doctor all of your concerns. If there is a speech delay, this causes frustration which leads to awful behavior. Have the pediatrician refer you to a specialist, if needed. Have you tried signing? A good book I can recommend is The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

And, while I know you're probably short on time, perhaps you can squeeze in a single parenting support group or find a parenting coach. I would suggest also making much of your upcoming time with him simply fun. All about him. A picnic in the park, etc. Less stress for both of you. I know how hard you must be working, and you're probably exhausted. You just may need to ask for outside help. After all, how he is parented now really will affect how he grows and develops.

Ignore 'Coldturkey' please. But if you don’t, please hand deliver to a worker at a police station, hospital or EMS station. One the subject, YES, normal to have those feelings. You’re not a bad mother due to them. IT IS HARD being a mother, EVEN HARDER being a single one at that. Children have their moments of being "little ass hats" its normal. Terrible twos for my children were terrible twos and threes. deep breaths. forget the tissues just get a towel and cry it out at night. You're doing good. Maybe look at some Daycares in Hispanic neighbors where, if you’re lucky they speak Spanish to the kids, and you wouldn't have to pay extra for "Cultural awareness" for your child. Breathe and never feel like a bad parent. You're doing well, keep us updated.

He is THREE. If you can't figure out the right combination of discipline and affection for him, see a child therapist IMMEDIATELY, before the problem gets worse. Also, this happens with every young mother I know. You're under a lot of stress, your time is more precious than blood, and you just want to make this work for you and your child. Frankly, you need help. Child therapy can be a huge relief, and maybe you should talk to someone yourself- there's no shame in taking a load off. Check his diet- caffeine and white sugars really mess up brain development in toddlers and cause serious behavioral problems. If he misbehaves in public, there's one solution: Tuck him under your arm like a football, ignore his tantrum completely and simply carry him out to the car and take him home. EVERY time. Do not react with anger, frustration, or desperation. He's testing your limits and boundaries- very normal at this age, but you need to be consistent so he knows for sure what he can get away with and what he can't.

Oh girl I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through it too. Some of it is normal, some of it can be helped with some parenting class/books/learning about early childhood behavior and parenting. Some of it could be the beginnings of severe ADHD. I was going insane trying everything I could and he drove me up the wall. It is something people with "normal" children don't understand. Sometimes it really is ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity) and you really just need professional help. Get him evaluated when he's old enough by the school district and a psychiatrist. I know this drives you crazy but try to stay calm and read all the "parenting the difficult child" books you can. You can do it and your life will get better. A lenient grandma can do a lot more damage than you know. All the caretakers need to follow the same rules and NEVER give in. If he won't eat his dinner, he doesn't eat. It won't kill him. And no kid ever died from crying. Let him suffer the consequences (reasonable consequences, not neglect or abuse) and he will start to take you seriously. Sometimes this means YOU have to miss out on something. When my son was young, I would actually pack up our stuff and walk him all the way to the car until he begged to stay. Then I would kneel down and say "If you behave, we will stay but this is your last chance." If he started up again, you have to LEAVE. Actually LEAVE and go home and put him to bed. He'll wise up to how serious you are really quick. And get grandma on the bandwagon> You can't get any improvement if he can go hog wild with other people.

It doesn't sound like an ideal situation - you don't have much time for him and there is no father figure either. The other guys are right about the terrible twos/threes - it is a tough phase but it does pass. All children test the limits with whichever adult they are with. When he develops more psychologically (five years old onwards) he will understand/ be more aware that he is behaving very differently from other people and will want to fit in.
What you also need to remember is that 50% of a child's behaviour is conditioned ie you teach them how to behave and 50% is their own/ inherent personality. You can only do something about the first 50%! Some kids are naturally quiet, others are tearaways. His problem may be a lack of attention from you as you work and study as well or related to something in his diet or may be some psychological problem - aspergers etc. You need to take him to a specialist. I wonder if there isn't anyone at the university where you study who could give you an opinion. Teachers are always interested in real cases as it improves their knowledge on the subject they teach. If you can, get the person who looks after him (or you yourself if you have time)to take him to the park or somewhere where he can let off steam, run wild and wear himself out. He obviously has a lot of energy. I put my little girl of 5 in the pool as often as possible - she's very energetic and wears me out, though she loves being in the water and burns heself out playing there. At night she just falls into bed and is asleep in five minutes.
Good luck and don't be afraid to seek help.

Terrable twos :)

I'm sorry for your situation. It sounds very difficult. Maybe consider reaching out to the councilors at your school to see what services are available either there or in the community. You're not a bad person. Just overwhelmed. Reach out and ask for help. Best wishes for you...

Maybe hes frustrated because you work full time and he doesn't see much of you (Im not having a go by the way) my 2 year old can be a hand full its a funny age as they say, he can be quite nasty sometimes he hits me then asks if Im ok lol

I promise, it gets better! This is a difficult age, I am sure you love your child, but are overwhelmed! Seek help, there is help available from the college. Don't worry about him eating, he will when he gets hungry, you know best what he needs! It just a phase! It will pass, with time!

Kids that age can be a huge handful. Its called the terrible twos. He'll behave better later on. He needs a father figure/ male figure.... Whomever... At least one guy that he can hang with and can teach him how to behave....little kids always observe people older than them especially someone of the same sex and they try to be like em and act like em.

He sounds like a real pain in the ass. If he was mine I'd give him away.

He'll be a serial killer when he grows up, mark my words.

Spank him more