Is it normal that i dislike my mother?

Ever since I can remember I have felt a strong dislike for all members of my family especially my mother. My mother is a horrible person, she is irritable, demanding, unfair and extremely hot headed. One of my earliest memories are of her forcing me to sleep outside in our backyard, just for getting up too many times to go to the bathroom, this would have been when I was roughly 5-6 years old. On top of this she is also physically abusive and won't hesitate to throw or hit me with her hand or any object she can wherever she can.

I have been hit so hard that many wooden spoons have broken. She will hit me on my arms, the ribs, the legs and even my head. I have grown use to to being hit by my mother. I have never gotten into a fight or been hit by someone else purposely. Just my mother.

As I got older she progressed to taking my footwear, shirt leaving me in just my shorts. Chasing me out of the house while screaming and carrying a knife, rolled up newspaper, wooden spoon or a metal bar whatever was closer to grab. Then forcing me to stand on the driveway for hours, this normally happened in the evenings at around 6pm when there was little traffic. I was not allowed to sit, lean on anything or move from the end of the driveway, I couldn't leave as I had barely any clothes on and no money or places to go. She usually let me in at around 2am and followed it by screaming at me for a few more hours. I would make it into bed in the early hours of the morning 6-7am. Then she would double my chores for the next few weeks.

I am not a wild, naughty child. I don't go to parties, I don't get into trouble at school, I get good grades mainly A's or B's, don't sneak out, stay out late, drink or smoke. If my mum says be home by 5pm I'll be home by 4:30pm.

The only reason I get into trouble is because she snaps at the littlest things,my birthday was on the 29th of July last Monday, I turned 18. I didn't receive any presents, cards or cake. In fact I don't tell my friends its my birthday so they don't ask me what I got. My mother decided she wanted to have a birthday dinner for me today as it is the weekend and asked me where I wanted to go for the dinner and I replied and she agreed. She invited some of her friends who I don't know, which I have no problem with and told me to invite some friends however I refused and made up reasons why my friends couldn't come as I didn't want my mum around them as she will yell at me in front of them. My mum told me to have a shower as we were leaving soon, I told her I needed a second to save my homework and shut my laptop off. She screamed "Now!" and slammed my laptop shut.She then yelled right into my face and kept jabbing her finger into my head and hitting my head. I pushed her away from me and told her to leave me alone. She then told me I wasn't allowed to go she will go by herself, with my sister and father. So they left to go to my birthday dinner without me and she seems to think it's ok.

I don't have a job, however I've started looking for one and plan to move out as soon as I finish school in a few months. I don't tell my friends or anyone that my mother is abusive and hits and yells at me as I am an 18 year old male and my mum who is smaller then me hits me. My friends get on very well with their parents and won't understand and my mum puts on a nice face in public most of the time. I do not hit my mum back as I was raised not to hit woman or people smaller then me plus she's my mother albeit a very poor one. I will simply push her away from me but won't knock her over. Other times I simply endure the pain. I'd like to think that I am fairly strong minded as despite my situation I have never thought of self harm, substance abuse or suicide and will never turn to it. I have contemplated running away but I don't have any money or anywhere to stay. If I were to run away I would go to school and not come home afterwards and just wander around or sleep in a park all night and go to school the next day because I hate missing it. Does anyone else have a mother like mine who they hate?

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 30 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Stifler

    CALL THE FUCKING POLICE!

    ENOUGH SAID!

    AND ITS FUCKING ALRIGHT TO FIGHT BACK IN DEFENSE!

    And I think your a troll...

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  • myboyfriendsbitch

    That is heartbreaking. Does no one in your family stick up for you? I would never go to my sister's birthday dinner without her.I suggest you open up to someone because you are bottling up your emotions way too much. It is somewhat common to have an abusive mother, but it is not normal to accept it the way you do. Don't you have a friend or family member who could take you in? I know if I had a friend with a mother like that I would let them stay with me.

    I don't know if what I'm about to say is good advice, but I really think you should put up more of a fight. Not physically, but yell at her or something. Tell her how you feel and what you've been thinking about her all these years.

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    • Thank you so much for your help, I don't know if you will see this but your help is much appreciated. I had a really long response to your comment however it was much too long to be posted. So here's a shorter response to your questions:

      Does no one in your family stick up for you?

      My sister is younger then me and won't be able to move out for anther 5 years. When I leave she will be by herself with my mum (dad works away). I do not blame her for not sticking up for me as that will only get the both of us in trouble. If she is in trouble I will stay out of it (even though I wish I could help). As mentioned before my dad works away he is only home one week for every two weeks he works away. When he is home mum will turn her abuse towards him for little reasons. He does not have any friends and isn't allowed to speak to his family (who live a large distance away) as my mum doesn't like them for a petty no good reason. HShe blocked all their numbers on the phones. Luckily he can call them when he is at work.

      Don't you have a friend or family member who could take you in?

      We are not close to any family members. I have not spoken to any aunties, uncles or cousins since I was around 6 or 7 years old almost 10 years ago. I hardly know their names or where they live. I really don't want to tell my friends as I always put on a happy face at school. Their parents are all so nice and I don't think they will fully understand my situation. My friend recently threw a party at his house while his parents were out of town. Over 500 people showed up. Doors were ripped of hinges, tiles ripped of floors, graffiti on walls and scratches on cars. He was yelled at a bit and grounded when they found out (the police called them to report the party). After a week they forgave him and he was allowed to go out once again. While my mum is willing to hit me with a coat hanger in the head for eating half a cookie (true story happened today).

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  • wistfulmaiden

    Sounds like Mommy Dearest .
    I'm sorry you had the misfortune of being born to this creature, she sounds mentally ill or evil .
    I suggest if you're old enough you cut off all ties to this woman and try to have a happy life . Only surround yourself with people who treat you with respect.

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    • wistfulmaiden

      Also, report her to the authorities. Your sister may not be as able to cope as you are what if she becomes suicidal or something ? The best thing you could do is get you and your sister removed. There is nothing to lose, you're already living in a kind of hell.
      I respect you for not becoming like her and for realizing this is in no way normal or acceptable. Best of luck .

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  • kittykat9930

    If I were you, I WOULD push her down or slap her if not punch her. She has no right to treat you like that for no real reason at all! I hope you move out ASAP and never speak to that psycho again! I pray for you, hon.

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    • Thanks for your help. I'm planning on moving out as soon as possible. I've applied for the army as I know that once I'm enlisted that they will provide me with accommodation. While any other job I'd have to save up for my own place.

      I don't want to push her to the ground or punch her for several reasons:

      1. She is still my mother.
      2. I am bigger and stronger then her and I might cause her injury.
      3. That would be stooping to her level and I want to be a better person then her.
      4. If she does call the Police or someone I can truthfully tell them that I never hit her back. I only pushed her away gently out of self defence.

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      • kittykat9930

        True, I just hold a lot of anger with bullies. =/ And good for you! I hope you have a good life away from her! :O

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