Is it normal that i didn't stand up for myself when a coworker yelled?

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5 Comments

I just started a new job 2 weeks ago and was trying to be nice by doing a job without being told to, when a coworker yelled at me and told me I couldn't do that - even though I had already done it 2 other times and this person had never said anything about it (even when I inquired about the correct procedure). I was so surprised and a little scared because they seemed so angry, that I didn't say anything to them. I feel like I should have stood up for myself, but now it is too late. Also, this person kind of scares me, because they seem like a wildly aggressive type that would not be above violence. I really don't want to be treated like that in the future, but it is a new job and I don't want to seem like a trouble maker. Also, I am pretty sure this task is on my job description. What should I do now. Our boss is very fond of this employee (although I can't see why). Everyone seems to like this person. Please help!

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64% Normal
Based on 45 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • joybird
    12 years ago

    If this person is not your superior then ignore the @sshole. Don't worry about them and their bad temper, they maybe got dumped by their partner the night before. Anyway, as you're new, the others are all pretending to like the bully in case you tell him/her, or else they are also afraid of the bully turning on them.

    Why not just ask the boss if it's ok for you to do the task because (so and so) balled you out for doing it!?

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  • asaph
    14 years ago

    this is called constructin reality. the coworker, by yelling, constructs in your mind dor you a reality in whhich you xouldnt stand up for yourself. this can happen even to the most aggresaive dog in some situations. the way to fight backk is not by yelling back or even standing up for yourself, but rather to construct your own reality, a stronger, better one for you, in your mind, his, and other workers minds. this is not simple and requires practice. however realizing the situation annd setting your mind to construnction is the hardest part

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  • PeterThePolishKiryluk
    14 years ago

    Yeah ask the person who the hell they think they are and why they are yelling and if u should get a supervisor? Yelling will stop.

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    i think you made the right choice this time. firstly, you are the new person. the next thing you need to do is verify the chore you did do is your responsibility. if it isn't, then leave it alone. if it is, the do it whenever you feel like it.

    i don't think you should yell back. speak firmly and stand your ground.

    ollieo is right, document everything. though, i don't agree that you should appologize. that's admitting that you are wrong, and if you don't think you were wrong, then don't admit that you are.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Deal with the behaviour - nothing else. And you do not have to wait until next time. And the behaviour is the yelling. Yelling at another person is abusive, humiliating, rude and inappropriate, particularly in the workplace.

    You do not have to second guess why he yelled, what you were doing nor anything else.

    Deal with the behaviour: tell him firmly but politely that his yelling is unacceptable. Tell him now, when it is fresh but he's settled down some. And if he does not listen to you, apologise and assure you that it will not happen again, go to you supervisor. Document everything.

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