Is it normal that i desire a totally carefree existence?

92% Normal
9 Comments

I used to be a very motivated teenager. I knew at the age of 16 that I wanted to be a scientist and at university I knew that purely to boost my large intellectual ego and to prove to my family and friends that I can do it, I wanted to do a PhD at Oxford, one of the most prestigious universities in Europe.

Things seem to go downhill ever since I achieved just that five years ago. At graduation, while I gained a PhD, I seemed to have lost my life motivation now that I have achieved what I wanted to achieve.

Being a little bit aimless, I applied for jobs indiscriminately and was rejected 35 times before I got my current job as an engineer. Occasionally, I find interesting subject matters and projects that motivate me temporarily to work hard. Otherwise, 80% of the time I work just enough to avoid the wrath of my boss. I have now been at my current company for four years.

Things took a new downturn when my boss said to me last week that given my current level of performance (which he didn't like), it would be really hard for me to find a job internally and that I should just take the very first job that comes by.

This doesn't just apply to work, it also applies to things outside work. I'm perfectly happy just sitting around and watching cricket, I'm perfectly happy not having a girlfriend and not having life goals in general. My ultimate desire is for a carefree existence: no responsibilities, no obligations, no worries, just enjoy life. My fantasy is to get myself a nice villa somewhere in Provence or Tuscany and enjoy good food and wine and go travelling for the rest of my life.

Is this normal?

Voting Results
92% Normal
Based on 39 votes (36 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • steph678
    12 years ago

    You need a sugar mama.

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  • Austalien
    12 years ago

    I see, That's me the bottom paragraph I am doing that :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    isnt that everybody?

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  • beerlover123
    12 years ago

    Nothing wrong with a simple life. I don't think I was meant for this modern age of technology, debt, stress, full time jobs, etc etc.

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  • peejays312
    12 years ago

    Harry Potter once said;
    'The more you care, the more you have to lose'
    I believe these are just golden words. You don't need anything in life right now that makes you want to 'care'. Just let go. I too yearn for a life like yours, but honestly it's not possible in todays shitty world, I say you move to Iceland, lovely country, lovely people and you get to the see the amazing Northern Lights very often...I am moving there too as soon as I save enough and I swear I am going alone, don't want the hassle of others destroying my life anymore.
    DO THIS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

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  • Josie_57
    12 years ago

    like the people above said, its normal to want those things, but not realistic. if you want a villa, you'll have to work really hard and get lots of money first. just try and work on your motivation a bit :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Seems like you have set new goals for yourself, it's just that they are so different from your previous goals, that you worry that they are inferior.

    Joybird thinks your new goals are unrealistic, and she's right if you still value the previous set of life goals you held.

    These are your new life-goals:
    - sitting around and watching cricket
    - not having a girlfriend
    - not having life goals in general
    - a carefree existence: no responsibilities, no obligations, no worries, just enjoy life.
    - get myself a nice villa somewhere in Provence or Tuscany
    - enjoy good food and wine
    - go travelling for the rest of my life

    EMBRACE them like you did your first goals. If it turns out, when you achieve these new goals, that you want more, then you can deal with that day when it comes.

    By the way; you are not doing enough to get by at your current job, because your boss doesn't think it's enough to get you by.

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  • NothingxCrazy
    12 years ago

    I wish I could move to Ireland and just take pictures all day every day. But I doubt that'll happen until I retire.. if that. Almost everyone wants the easy life, not everyone can have it though.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Perfectly normal but..... not realistic.

    It's hard when you discover that the world of work doesn't require the level of intelligence you have. What you need to do is set a new goal, eg. I'm going to retire at 40! You have been fore-warned by your boss so you do need to improve your game. If you don't go out much you should be able to save a lot of money, but then again, maybe that's what you do need - some fresh air and / or a social life. The less you do, the lazier you get so it's better to get busy (while you're young enough) coz you're going to slow down when old age creeps up on you.

    Come on, pull yourself together.
    Why not take a second job in the evenings? You could tutor privately and stash that cash for your villa.

    Good luck.

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