Is it normal that i constantly feel ashamed?

51% Normal
5 Comments

Whenever I am in a situation where people could watch me or do see me I feel very ashamed because I feel like everyone is constantly judging me. But then I also kind of understand people doing this because I think I'm kind of socially awkward and not really good at doing anything.
I don't know if I actually have friends because I can't tell whether people like me or not since I can't find any reason for other people to like me. I'm neither really bright nor interesting and generally I don't know why people even talk to me.
I used to have problems with self harm and I used to spend my days planning the perfect suicide, but I have gained control over this. I still have thoughts of suicide sometimes because the shame is overwhelming but I am well able to control this now, I do not actually want to die any more.
But sometimes I feel so ashamed that I loose control over my body and I have some sort of spasm which is really painful, but this only happens when I am on my own. When I am alone, it sometimes feels like every embarrassing situation I have ever experienced in my life is happening again so that in that situation I have try to regain control over myself very strongly in order not to scream or hit myself.
I also have episodes of depression which I believe come from this issue and which I have tried St John's Wort for...that didn't really do anything apart from giving me panic attacks and making me act weird in general...
Therapy and counselling don't seem to do anything for me about this particular problem, is this normal? What should I do?

Voting Results
51% Normal
Based on 73 votes (37 yes)
Feeling Suicidal?
We couldn't help but notice that you might be asking about things related to suicide...
If that's not the case, please ignore this message.
But, if that is the case, please, please, please call this hotline and talk to someone about it. Or, visit one of these websites and get some help.
Unfortunately IIN isn't the best place for you to be asking about this. Check out the above websites or call one of the hotlines instead. They can help. Really. We know what we're talking about. Call. Do it. Please.
Remember that everything gets better with time.
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • Ash1983
    12 years ago

    It depends on your context of the word "normal", generally I would say no, what you are feeling is not "normal" for most people but it is clearly normal for you if you have been feeling like this for a long time. You appear to have REALLY low self esteem, which is a shame as I bet you are a lovely person.

    One thing I Iearned at therapy is that people are in charge of their own actions so your friends are not friends with you because they HAVE to be but because they CHOOSE to be, you always have to remember that!

    You don't mention if you take medication but if you don't you should maybe look at that (without being ashamed), if a person had a headache they would take a painkiller, or a heart problem they would take tablets every day.....it's exactly the same thing!

    Hoping you find inner peace soon!!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago

    I've experienced similar feelings. It sounds like you have very low self esteem. Try to bring yourself up. I'm with CaptainK, you must have something about you that people find interesting. They probably wouldn't bother to even talk to you if it were otherwise. Just be who you want to be, and forget what people are thinking. Best wishes!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Captain_Kegstand
    12 years ago

    Don't be so hard on yourself, if your friends didn't like you, they wouldn't be your friends. Besides, I do not believe for one minute that there is nothing about you that is interesting. There is something about everybody that is interesting! Be yourself and don't let anybody else tell you different!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • nAt2017
    12 years ago

    I'm just like you. However, I realized a while back that it's just low self-esteem and insecurities, under a more impressive name. Why do you care what people think of you? Live your life. You only have one.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Anonymous1234567
    12 years ago

    I am just like you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0