Is it normal that i compare all guys i meet to my brother?

65% Normal
15 Comments

I am a teenage girl, and I'm really close to my younger brother. We have so many inside jokes that even our parents don't understand what we're talking about 90% of the time. In fact, despite the 5-year age difference, I consider him one of my best friends. (Whether or not that is normal is not the question here, ladies and gentlemen.) Now when I meet guys who are my age, I observe what they say and do, and I compare them to what my brother would say or do. My brother is pretty mature for his age so it makes sense to me. I use this as a way to see how I should react to what the guy is saying sometimes, because I'm usually nervous when talking to guys, so imagining him to be very similar to someone I'm totally comfortable with lessens my anxiety. However, when I find out more about them and discover they're really not like my brother at all, it kind of scares and discourages me and I lose interest. Talk about a harsh reality. So what do you think? Is this normal or am I just crazy? And how will I ever really be able to talk to guys this way?

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 48 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Johnnytherat
    10 years ago

    don't bang your brother kthnxbai

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    • fadrat
      10 years ago

      Hahahahahha no. That's disgusting. I just want to see if the guys I meet have the same sense of humor as me, similar interests, etc.

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      • Johnnytherat
        10 years ago

        trust me.. i'm a docter & i hiiiiiiiiiighly recommend you go ahead & bang your brother in your step dads pick-em-up truck behind the wal-mart

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  • kenyotmaut
    10 years ago

    it's normal if you're that close, you just need experience. go and meet more guys, your anxiety will be gone. and just remember, as a girl you don't have to do anything, let the guys do the most work !

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    • fadrat
      10 years ago

      Thanks. I don't really think guys should do the most work though, this is 2013! Not to mention that's just unfair. But I'll try a little harder to talk to more guys!

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  • pambambam
    10 years ago

    it's normal that he's a best friend. But you shouldn't compare them to your brother ... that's just wrong! It's like a sexual thing.. weird.

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  • ygrowup
    10 years ago

    Normal to compare, but just like many people fathers, no one can really compare to someone you put high on a pedestal. It seems that most people just have to date a few not so great people before they can tell the difference between a keeper and one you throw back. Good luck with your choices!

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  • MarieSugarFree
    10 years ago

    It is very normal. Most girls actually compare guys to their father, whether they realize it or not. So you're just doing it with your brother. You see him as a good example of someone that you get along with and want to have that with someone else.

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  • dirtybirdy
    10 years ago

    Weird. Wait...you can't be more than 19 so your brother can't be more than 14. This is worse than I thought.

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    • davesumba
      10 years ago

      Not sure why it's worse, just because she figures out what she wants/doesn't want in other guys by seeing how her nice gentlemen of a brother acts. And she's figured out for herself a way to get over her shyness, that I'm actually going to throw into my things to remember. A lot of people are much more talkative around people they know and are comfortable with but not so much with strangers cause they are afraid or what have you, when in reality, they have the ability to be comfortable and talk to strangers just like they would talk to their own brother.

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  • davesumba
    10 years ago

    I'd say normal, same idea as girls wanting guys who resemble their father (even if that isn't a good thing).

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  • ObsessedWithReedus
    10 years ago

    It is normal to compare guys to someone you are very close to in order to lessen your anxiety. But that doesnt mean go and lose interest just because they arent the same as your brother. Everyone is different, and while your brother is someone you admire, if you keep comparing guys to him your standards will never be met. You already have him, why do you need another guy to be like him?

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    • fadrat
      10 years ago

      Thanks...well it happened a lot more when I started college. I guess it's also due to separation anxiety then, because I want to be friends with someone who's like my brother in college so I don't miss my brother as much. But you're right, I should be more open to other personalities as well.

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      • ObsessedWithReedus
        10 years ago

        Im glad i could help :) i totally understand your situation. I much rather be around people i am familiar with or can relate to. I wish you luck and hope you find a guy that cares for you and makes you happy :)

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  • GinnyWeasley
    10 years ago

    Please don't pull a cersei-jaime

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