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Is it normal that i cant cum having sex with anyone?

67% Normal

I told my psychiatrist and he said maybe i wasnt turned on enough? BUT I WAS.

hard as a rock, we can keep doing it for HOURS and still cant cum, even she using her hand or her mouth, i feel pleasure but cant bring myself to cum, the only way being my own hand.

havent cum inside anyone or by anyone before.

my gf is getting frustrated by this and im having a complex

Voting Results

67% Normal

Based on 9 votes (6 yes)

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Comments ( 9 )

fatok

2 years ago

keep fucking her until she has an orgasm then pull out and jerk off on her face

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Steven18j

5 years ago

Over exposure to pornography can make regular sex not as exciting

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IrishPotato

5 years ago

The more you think about it, the less likely it is to happen.

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lordofopinions

5 years ago

Try getting her to close her thighs around your pecker. That will make it real tight and I bet you'll explode.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  She started to wear fucking striped stockings for me and didn't worked, thanks for the tip though
  
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Boojum

5 years ago

That sounds pretty messed up, and for the nothing it's worth, you have my sympathy.

First, I wonder how hard you stimulate yourself when you masturbate. If you're used to very rough stimulation (whether manually or by humping the bed), then you're likely to have problems, because no vagina provides that much stimulation.

I also wonder how often you masturbate to orgasm. If you haven't come in the last week, then you should be about ready to detonate when your partner stimulates you (assuming you are genuinely aroused). Teasing yourself by edging close to orgasm a few times but not going all the way during that week would build up the pressure even more.

Finally, I wonder how much you're "in your head" during sex. If your attention is split between worrying about how you can't come (or thinking about anything else), then that will blunt the impact of what she's doing.

Interesting how you say you "can't bring myself to come". While I imagine what you mean is that you just can't come, that could also be read as you saying you can't allow yourself to come. If you really do mean that you feel you don't deserve to have an orgasm, that's some pretty serious, deep psychological shit.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Yeah, I have tried holding for a week to no effect, i felt a bigger ecstacy when we did it but still couldnt reach it.
  
  Its true that i used to masturbate like really rough, i dont know if that messed me up.
  
  She and I also spoke about something psychological going on, and i wont put it off the table because i went under medication for some time because of depressive shit but...
  Right now i feel really down about this problem tbh, she can cum with me but i cant and i feel like crap
  
  I'm actually scared whenever we do it and get really upset it could happen again (which will), last time when she asked i just didnt want to do it and so we left and we had some fun somewhere else, which comforted me.
  
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  - Boojum
    
    5 years ago
    
    Are you still on antidepressants? I'm no expert and I have no personal experience, but I vaguely recall hearing how some of those can thoroughly screw up the sexual response.
    
    Maybe you should look into the known side effects of the drug(s) you are/were on?
    
    I can understand your and your partner's feelings about this. I'm sure she must be wondering if she's not doing something right, if she doesn't _really_ turn you on, and so on. Caring guys can get pretty bent out of shape if their partner suddenly tells them that they've never actually had an orgasm during sex with them, and since men tend to be much more mechanical when it comes to sex, I suspect it might be a real blow to her self-esteem.
    
    What you describe sounds somewhat like what happens when guys are unable to achieve an erection and there's no physiological reason for it. Once a guy has problems getting hard, that in itself makes it likely there will be more failures, because he stresses out about maybe not getting an erection, and stress is an erection-killer.
    
    Most guys are orgasm-orientated; we tend to think if you don't have one while having sex, then the sex was, by definition, pretty crap. Many women don't look at sex that way and they can really enjoy the intimacy of sex even if they don't come (although most prefer it), but if a woman cares about a guy, she'll generally want him to reach orgasm.
    
    I wonder if the main problem here is that both of you are focusing way too much on your orgasm. Maybe what you should be trying to focus on is how much you enjoy what you do with each other (you say you experience "ecstasy", so I guess you do enjoy it), and trying not to worry about whether or not you actually ejaculate. If you could both adopt that attitude, it's possible you might be able to relax enough that - sooner or later - it just happens.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      Thanks man, and no, i stopped taking the antidepressants because i started to feel ill and sick (felt my stomach burning and used to puke a lot) since then i've been off, but i dont know if i should take them again.
      
      And yeah, well, since the first time we did it (we both were virgins) i had the thought that i might finish soon, couldn't get it up, wouldn't do it well... i will be talking to her about it.
      
      Anyways, thank you very much for taking your time to write, really appreciate it, and i will take it slow and keep trying, pretty sure there's a way.
      
      Thank you very much dude, thanks for caring
      
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