Is it normal that i can't yet get over mother's death after 7 years?

74% Normal
8 Comments

After caring for my mother with Alzheimer's for ten years, she died aged 85 in 2007. Although I have to live with it I can't really get over the grief, as she was my best friend until her terrible condition took over. It was made worse by the fact that she eventually wouldn't eat or drink, despite best efforts. Medical staff and Social Services weren't any help - they just wanted to shove her into a home when she was first diagnosed. Is it normal to still feel empty, isolated and weepy (despite good friends) after this time?

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 31 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Wyomingite
    10 years ago

    I suggest that you seek counseling to help you overcome your grief, because it sounds like you're in a lot of emotional pain, and that you haven't been able to get past this by yourself or with the help of the people in your life.
    Speaking to an impartial, nonjudgmental professional can be easier than speaking to family and friends, and counselors genuinely want to help you feel better. Of course, you have to want to feel better, so if you're reluctant to move on because your grief helps you feel connected to our mother still, you may not get any good out of it.
    Most towns, even small ones, have a community counseling center that offers services on a sliding scale, so if you don't have a very high income, sessions can cost as little as five dollars each.
    More important than any negative associations of counseling is getting help and feeling better.
    I am truly sorry for your loss, because I love my mother more than anyone else on the planet and I'm sure that when she dies, it will destroy me. I can't imagine your pain, but my heart goes out to you.
    I hope that you can find peace and happiness again.

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    • Barefaced
      10 years ago

      How very comforting to know that there are still some kind and understanding people in the world. Your comments, advice and wishes are very much appreciated. The few counselling sessions offered were a total failure, designed to make the grief even more intense. I am learning to live with it, but I don't think one ever really gets over it. After all, my mother was around from the day I was born (and before!), and her deterioration in health won't be easy to forget. From the bottom of my heart, I do hope you enjoy a well, long and happy life with your mother as long as possible. My love to you both.

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  • Thelaconicallsocialist
    10 years ago

    My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease as well, and it is a really painful experience that no one-self or family-should have to go through. Some people become much more emotionally attached to their parents than others due to special and/or long-lasting bonds, which may be just your case. I am really sorry for your loss, and may you recover from this tragedy and live happily again.

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    • Barefaced
      10 years ago

      Your comments and wishes are very much appreciated.

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  • Aliceee93
    10 years ago

    I'm sorry for your loss :( It must be awful to loose someone so close, I don't think you can truly get over the death of a loved one, but simply learn to live with it. Like Wyomingite said counselling might help you.

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    • Barefaced
      10 years ago

      Your comments are very much appreciated. Please see my reply to Wyomingite about counselling.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    10 years ago

    It's never easy to move on from the death of a loved one and I'm sorry for your loss.

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    • Barefaced
      10 years ago

      Once again it's very comforting to know that there are still some kind and understanding people in the world. Your comments are very much appreciated.

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