Is it normal that i can't talk about sad stuff?

84% Normal
5 Comments

I can't talk to my parents(mostly) about sad things. When my mom told me she had a miscarriage and that we were supposed to have a sister, I didn't say anything. I felt like I couldn't. And I feel like a heartless idiot for not being there for her. Also when my grandma passed away I didn't say anything to my dad or hug him, he hugged me. I feel so heartless that I wasn't able to console them in these situations.

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 37 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • ProseAthlete
    10 years ago

    Some people don't know how to handle tragedy, but that's normal. You aren't truly heartless if you felt bad about not knowing how to respond, and I think they knew that at the time. You say you weren't there for your mom or dad, but you were there even if you didn't know what to say.

    No one knows what to say at times like that, which is why we have ritualized expressions like "I'm sorry for your loss" or "my deepest condolences." Everyone's at a loss, and it's normal that you were too.

    If it really eats at you, take some time and write a letter for your mom or dad. It's never too late to express sympathy and empathy. A hug can do it too if you aren't comfortable finding the right words. Nothing eases the pain of a loss as much as that simple, wordless act. You don't need to talk.

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    • mixwell
      10 years ago

      I agree, my father and grandfather who I lived with both passed away (dad May 2011 and gpa Aug 2011) and my sister and I had to setup everything. We both heard "Im sorry for your loss soo many times we became somewhat desensitized although these individuals had good intentions.

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  • pohpoh
    10 years ago

    U need to face sad stuff sometimes and chat about it.. Part if life

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    When I was little, my grandma passed away and my mum cried and cried. I didn't cry and I didn't really feel sad. I was really little then. I couldn't really understand why my mum was so sad. I do now, of course.

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  • mixwell
    10 years ago

    @ the OP, do you feel sorry and hurt inside of you that you feel you cannot express or is it just an overall feeling of no physical or emotional sorrow ?

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