Is it normal that i can't stand people who can't handle criticism?

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10 Comments

I am not cruel, I am not rude and I am definitely don't try to make people feel bad. But, I am extremely direct. If someone does something that is just not right, I tell them right away, with 100% honesty, even if it is brutal honesty.

What I don't get is why people get angry at criticism. It is extremely annoying, specially in professional enviroment. I always give people a chance to redeem themselves and to be better. But no one sees it that way apparently.

Many people have told me that I should try to be "nicer" when I tell others about their mistakes. But I disagree 100%. Sugarcoating words and being hypocritical just creates misunderstandings and people don't take the criticism seriously.

And well, I just want to know if anyone thought the same.

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Based on 37 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • dom180
    10 years ago

    Honesty doesn't have to be brutal and niceness doesn't have to be hypocritical or sugar-coated. There's such a thing as tact, after all. Being tactful doesn't mean not saying what you think, it just means saying it in such a way that doesn't create confrontation (which also makes the other people more likely to respect your opinion).

    Be sincere. Be consciously careful not to be snide or cutting. Directly invite criticism yourself to show that you're not being arrogant and make it clear that you aren't a control freak. Then when people criticise you, take it on board: so if people say you should be nicer, be nicer. How do you expect people to take your advice if you ignore theirs? It's a two-way street.

    Be positive. Make it clear from the outset that you are genuinely trying to be helpful, otherwise people will think you're being critical for the sake of being critical.

    Don't call people out in front of other people, do it in private. Otherwise you *are* being rude.

    That's just what I think.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I think I must clarify that I am not cruel, arrogant or overly obsessive when I criticize people. In fact, I don't correct people for every single mistake they make. However, I don't believe that being honest should be considered being "mean". I actually think the opposite, there is nothing more cruel than trying to hide the truth. People should be thankful and not resentful when someone else is honest with them.

      I agree with most of what you say. But I also think that you might be too idealistic. If you ever get the opportunity to interact with someone truly stubborn or mediocre, you will realize that unless you are absolutely honest and firm with what you say, they will twist your words to reinforce their behavior.

      There are many kinds of criticism and many enviroments as well. In an academic or professional enviroment, criticism must be public, direct and straight forward among people in the same "team". Trying to act "nice" when someone is doing something wrong is incredibly inefficient.

      I do agree that at a personal level people should be criticized in private. However, there are certain occasions when it is just not that easy and the brutal honesty must come into play. I have lost many friends like this, but I least I got to keep the ones that are mature enough to understand that if someone criticizes you it is because they do care about you.

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      • RomeoDeMontague
        10 years ago

        Can you give an example?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          About what in particular?

          Well, let me tell you about the stubborn or mediocre I mentioned. If you are in an office enviroment, sometimes people will make mistakes. In that case in particular, the best is to be direct and address the mistake inmediately. If you take the "I think this could be done in another way" approach, not everyone will take you seriously. If someone is lazy, they will just say something like: "But it is ok already then" or "that's just your opinion". In fact, even if you ask a coworker or subordinate "too nicely" to correct their mistake, they might even ignore you. So not being direct and even "brutally" honest really slows down work and makes efficiency decrease.

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          • RomeoDeMontague
            10 years ago

            Oh well yes. In that case you should address the mistake. However you do not have to tell them they are complete morons for it. However simply tell them they did something wrong is not bad.

            I know if I messed up something at my job people would tell me. If people do not know what they are doing wrong they cant fix it. Now its ok to tell someone a mistake but there is a difference between pointing out a mistake and being a fucking dick about it.

            Which some people will do just since they are dicks and think they are so superior. Which is always going to piss someone off. Simply correcting someone is not bad though. Also they might not notice they are doing it wrong.

            If they are being lazy and you tell them they are not doing what they are suppose to yes I could see you telling them that. If everyone is not doing there job it would bother the people who are working. If there is people slacking off though if you are not the manager I would say report it. If they are not productive they deserve to get fired.

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  • 7777777e
    7 years ago

    You can't stand me.

    Criticism is good.

    I've cried when I've received criticism. Now I don't take anything I make seriously anymore to avoid criticism.

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  • Koda
    9 years ago

    Maybe you don't know how to give criticism and nobody else is brave enough to criticize the critic. In my experience, most people who bitch about other people who can't take criticism deliver said criticism with a snarky, degrading attitude. Make sure you're not one of them before you go blaming the people you're critiquing. Maybe you need to be recorded telling someone off. Sometimes people can be THAT blind to their own behaviour. Most people don't take constructive honesty badly, so you're probably doing it wrong.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    10 years ago

    Most people just don't like to feel responsible for their own problems. They may get mad at you, especially when publicly criticized, but your words may sit in the back of their minds and if at least one more person tells them the same thing, or they have an introspective moment later in the day, they just might take it to heart and want to change.

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  • marcellino
    10 years ago

    Criticism was is and remain constructive, criticism is like a mirror placed in front of one who is criticized. You're probably Virgo, go ahead with critical as long as you do it with common sense and with much truth

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  • elowen
    10 years ago

    The world is full of weak pussies who can't even handle their own dicks, so forget about them being able to handle criticism.

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