Is it normal that i can't seem to tell her this?

''I always thought that she was cheating on me or just mindfucking me, I started treating her badly and she broke up with me two months ago. Know I realised that I really love her, although she wants nothing to do with me. I was going through a difficult stage in my life which I found no support in, my friends abandoned me and I had no one to talk to and I always felt pathetic when I was with her because her life was so much better than mine. I'm more broken inside since she left me and I want another chance, if only I could give her a suitable reason for why I treated her like shit and made her feel bad. I know she deserves better than me but I just can't move on with my life.''

Tell her this.

Sure, my advice is to learn this and move on

You sound pussy whipped, you need to man the fuck up, forget about bitches for a while and do something else.

You should never have told her about you sucking cocks...I told you not to...

Oh you sound a lot like me. But I was very abusive when I felt betrayed, would lash out, even hit. The truth was that I was such a cheater that I judged everyone else by my standards, sad. I know I'll never get another chance with any of them, but I kind of feel that "I wouldn't feel right If I did get another chance, I need to own up and apologise and move forward" being the right thing.