Is it normal that i can't seem to make friends?

88% Normal
18 Comments

I am in high school and I have recently been having much trouble making new friends. I watch everyone else have these great connections with people they just met, but I have trouble going up to someone to talk to them first. Obviously, I need to learn to speak first, but why is it that no one bothers to talk to me? I don't have a bad reputation or anything. It's just making me feel lonely....no one seems to realize I'm there.

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 58 votes (51 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • gummy_jr
    10 years ago

    Making friends too quickly leads to trouble sometimes. I've learned that, I just make them slowly.

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  • AnonJoe
    10 years ago

    Totally normal, everyone feels that way at times. Thing is a few months after high school you probably wont talk to those losers anymore anyway.

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  • elizabethcollins
    10 years ago

    Audacia, where in that post did you see this person say he may have aspergers??? What are you a Dr?? Having a hard time making friends in noway diagnoses Aspergers! I had and still have trouble making friends and I have NO medical conditions, you think my Dr wouldn't laugh at me if I went to him and said I think I have aspergers because I don't make friends well? He would probably have me committed. ScooterNyne, and dietcoke said everything I would have said but better so take no heed from dumbass, the advice from Scooter and diet is awesome!!!

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    • hiiiiiiiiiii
      10 years ago

      She lol...thanks though:)

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  • Abbeycanfly
    10 years ago

    It's not because people don't want to talk to you. It's because you don't talk to them. THAT'S LITERALY IT. We all seem to over analyze everything. I'm the same way, though this school year I'm going to put myself out there, and you should as well!

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    • Abbeycanfly
      10 years ago

      literally* BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOES IT.

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  • dietcoke
    10 years ago

    I think high school is the time when friendships start to get complicated. There are factors that affect whether people want to be friends with each other or not, such as how competitive you are as an individual e.g. grades, appearance, cultural/family background, sportiness, etc. This might sound harsh but the world beyond school is even harsher. But first of all, don't discriminate anyone based on 'outside' qualities.

    However, to begin with, you could approach that classmate you always sit next to, or the one you join the same club with... by saying "Hi (their name). How's going?" with a smile. Ask back if you're asked by someone. It shows that you care too. Also, don't be afraid to offer help to someone in need. Be polite and speak carefully. You must consider others' feelings before you say something to them. Let the friendship develop gradually.

    Just be open minded. Although discriminations could exist, don't be scared to socialize with anyone. All you gain is a collection of experiences interacting with different people. Like anything else, the more you practice the better.

    Even if you have tried your best and you still have no friends, don't panic. Don't feel unworthy. High school is only a very short period in your life, it will pass and many kinds of people will come into your life later. I am sure there are qualities in you that people would appreciate. Believe that.

    Good Luck!

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    • hiiiiiiiiiii
      10 years ago

      Thanks:) that really does help. One of my goals for this upcoming year is just o communicate more. My opinion. Who I am. Thank you for spending the time to give me ur insights!

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  • dirtybirdy
    10 years ago

    You could make some if you you're crafty.

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    • hiiiiiiiiiii
      10 years ago

      Haha I am crafty, but no.

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  • Audacia
    10 years ago

    I was the same. I'll be brutally honest. It's because you need to get involved yourself. If you're having these thoughts of isolation anyway, you'll be by yourself and people will think it's strange and not approach. But if you talk a bit, voice your opinions. People will know you and THEN come talk to you. Thats how it works. You have to put the effort in to go up to people.

    Some people have a harder time doing this than others. You may have aspergers which just means you can't quite connects with people very well. But HEY it is normal. Just put more effort in

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    • ScooterNyne
      10 years ago

      Wow this isn't brutal honesty. This is blatant ignorance. 'Effort' and a life hindering condition, that means A HELL of a lot more then social ineptitude, is not the first thing you jump to when someone wants to know how to make friends. And as a side note, people with aspergers CAN'T make an effort to make friends.

      OP what you are going through is completely normal. A lot of people have some trouble figuring out how to meet people at first. There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you just aren't quite sure what to do to get the ball rolling. Back when I was in High school I found the cafeteria to be the BEST place to easily meet new people. It is the perfect social atmosphere. You can:

      - Say something nice to someone while waiting in line.
      - Offer some money to someone who's trying to get a lunch
      - Or if you don't like saying the first word than sit at a table with a group of strangers. The group will always notice a newbie, introduce themselves, and make small talk.

      You can also talk to the people you sit with in class. Ask about the homework. Make a joke about the teacher. Offer help if someone is confused. And just like that you start getting in the social mix. People will return the interest and a friendship will be born.

      Whatever the case though, don't be afraid to talk about anything. It's high school. anything goes haha! Talk about whatever you want, smile, and make eye contact. I know all of this because I went through the same thing in High School. If I haven't made it pretty well known on this site already, I have been shy my whole life. friends and relationships never came easy to me. But as soon as you make that first awesome friend, the rest will fall into place. You will figure out how to just be yourself around everyone else and before you know it you will have your own little group you chill with everyday and make memories with.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Also half true.

        If we put both your and "Audacia's" answers together, mess around with them a little, we might have a real answer that isn't totally derived of pure idiosyncrasy.

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        • ScooterNyne
          10 years ago

          Being derived from idiosyncrasy makes it valid in this situation. No one is trying to give a "real" answer that suits this individuals situation perfectly. The goal here is to give advice to someone who wants it. And I just so happen to have a good amount of experience as a formerly sheltered person with many odd mannerisms that made it difficult to make friends. If my advice was devoid of the "idiosyncrasies" of my past then it wouldn't be advice. It would be someone who didn't know what they were talking about trying to help someone with an issue they have never faced.

          Go ahead and combine the answers though and let's see a "real" solution.

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          • [Old Memory]
            10 years ago

            Not helpful to others.

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      • hiiiiiiiiiii
        10 years ago

        Well yeah, that comment from the pervious person really freaked me out. Immediately after I had read it, I went and searched it up. But ultimately, I figured I have a social anxiety disorder. Most of the things they describe for me. I wish I could change, but that takes time and a whole lot of effort. Thank you for responding though. It made me feel like there was hope.

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        • ScooterNyne
          10 years ago

          Don't worry my friend. There IS hope. Like you said though it will just take some time.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Half true.

      If we put both your and "ScooterNyne's" answers together, mess around with them a little, we might have a real answer that isn't totally derived of pure idiosyncrasy.

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