Is it normal that i can't help but wish my boyfriend was like my ex?

79% Normal
15 Comments

To start off, I love my boyfriend and he is perfect for me in everyway except for one silly small thing, he doesn't give massages. No back rubs, no foot rubs, and no neck rubs. Of course, I could end up spending over an hour rubbing his back, but in return I get a few awkward pats on the back and he's done. My horrible cheating ex, whom I hate with a passion, did however actually give me amazing massages and I keep thinking back to them. Although I hate my ex I can't help but wish my awesome current boyfriend would do the same. Please don't get me wrong though, my ex was pretty horrible in every other area.

I've tried talking to him about it, but my current boyfriend just says that he doesn't like doing it. I'm not incredible high maintance, and I'm not a spoiled princess. Often when me and my current boyfriend go out, I treat him, but for some reason this is bugging me. And its not like I could just go and get a professional massage, just because I rather like the feeling and the connected-ness of my boyfriend doing it. Is it normal for someone to wish their current boyfriend would something that their ex did or to think back to your ex?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 42 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Frosties
    12 years ago

    Offer him something he wants in return for what you want. They say love is a compromise, it's actually a trade-off.

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    • Its_Called_Love
      12 years ago

      Thanks, I'll try it!

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        offer anal for 45 min massage

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    My boyfriend is the exact same way! he had given me a few excuses: it will just make him horny, he hurts too bad, i don't massage him enough, etc. Maybe they think of their exes when they give massages o.0... Idk...

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  • chatter289
    12 years ago

    ok, i dont mean to sound like a bitch but... are you SERIOUSLY complaining that your bf does not give you massages? You are comparing your so described 'awesome' bf to your so claimed 'awful' ex on the basis of massages? I would be happy with what i have and not complain. As with regards to comparing certain elements of past partners than yes that is normal. One thing i have learned, its not easy adjusting to losing something which you have gotten use to which you love to something you don't get. But all will be fine in due time.

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    • Its_Called_Love
      12 years ago

      My ex was technically my first boyfriend and we were together for a LONG time. I guess I'm just use to more physical contact. And like I said it just one silly small thing.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        at least your current bf is not beating you like chris brown

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        • Its_Called_Love
          12 years ago

          lol Thats true.

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  • prodige
    12 years ago

    Like the other post. I cant see why he would not want to give you a massage or rub down if he knows you like it. Even if he thinks he is not good at it, he could TRY and learn how to do it with time. I mean, if I liked massages and my significant other refused to do it, it would bother me. Thinking about your ex when it comes to this IS normal, because when you want a massage or a rub down and your boyfriend refuses to do it, it is natural that your mind would reflect back on the times when you used to get them. Again, I dont see why he wouldnt make an effort to at least TRY if you have articulated that you like massages and rub downs.

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    • Its_Called_Love
      12 years ago

      Thats how I feel, I mean its not like I'm asking he to do something crazy kinky that he isn't comfortable with. I have brought it up several times, and then he just awkwardly pats my back and thats it.

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  • ccjigsaw
    12 years ago

    There are classes to learn how to massage lol massage therapy, if you actually got him to enroll, he'd literally be a pro at it

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  • ed10198902
    12 years ago

    its more abnormal for him to refuse than for you to want it- i would think someone whos attracted to you and cares about you would be excited at the opportunity for that kind of intimacy. to each their own i guess, but its definitely not an unfair request - especially if hes willing to receive them from you. he should really get over it in my opinion; i cant think of any good reason to refuse giving your girlfriend a message- that about the easiest compromise you can make for someone you care about. anyway, totally normal. its not like your ex was the only one who gives messages, everyone likes em.

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  • nob31
    12 years ago

    most of us boys dont like massaging girls it makes us feel awkward cos mums ask kids to massage them so its very awkward for us we would rather do it with u

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    • [Old Memory]
      12 years ago

      what the fuck are you talking about homo?

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    • Its_Called_Love
      12 years ago

      Sex? :P No worries, he gets more than enough. lol One day he actually cut me off from it.

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