Is it normal that i can't hang on to a man for more than a few weeks?

47% Normal
6 Comments

This is going to be long, but please bear with me - -

I'm a 24 year old, attractive, intelligent, rather independent and successful female. I'm outgoing, spontaneous, strong-willed, and I love to laugh. Overall, I think I'm a great catch. But here's the problem: I've been single for 2.5 years. My last boyfriend and I had been in a serious, committed relationship for over 2 years, but had casually dated on and off since I was 15; needless to say, we had quite the history. After he broke up with me, I couldn't fathom being with another man for the longest time (we'd continued sleeping with each other and hanging out on occasion for quite some time afterwards). It took a good year and a half until I was ready to cut him out of my life for good and move on; I decided I was finally ready for another boyfriend and see what else the world had to offer. In the past year since, I've casually dated 7 or 8 men. However, it's never gone further than this 'casual dating', much to my demise. Two of these guys, I knew from date #1 or 2 that it wasn't going to go anywhere, and we'd mutually cut ties shortly thereafter. But 4 of them, I thought had potential. I had alot of fun with each of them, we got along great, and coincidentally enough, they all "dumped" me within a month or two of us seeing each other. I was able to move on fairly easily, with all except the most recent one (there was an immediate spark, fireworks when we kissed, and I found myself ridiculously attracted to him and his personality). Strangely enough, they all tend to give me the same line.. "You're a such an awesome person, but I don't want a relationship", or, "You're a great girl, but you deserve better than me."

The fact that this keeps happening with every guy I date, has got me wondering.. What the heck am I doing wrong? I'm not overbearing, jealous, or needy.. I play it cool, let them know I'm into them, and try to keep everything 50/50. I've consulted with so so so many friends, and the only answer I ever get is that these guys "must be intimidated by me", which I think is the most lame excuse ever. It's so tiring to have one failed attempt, after another, after another, after another.

I want a boyfriend. I'm well aware I don't NEED one, but being single for so long can certainly get lonely, and I know that I have so much to offer and give, should I ever find the right guy. And I'm not willing to drop my standards and settle, just for the sake of having a boyfriend.

Any ideas? Thanks in advance for any input. :-)

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 30 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • JBTwitch95
    12 years ago

    if you snap back at guys or bitch them out that is like..penis repelant. SSSSSSS

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  • iintolovethissite
    12 years ago

    maybe its because you havent slept with them (you dont want to invest into a car you havent driven) if you get what i mean . lol. do yo sortah steal their balls from them, do you make more money then them are you more intelligent are you bossy? do you have a weird laugh? theres so many thousands of reasons this could be happening, remember its their loss not urs :)

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  • MissClaire
    12 years ago

    I would recommend playing a bit more hard to get - if you sleep with your EX it quickly gets around and, well, lets face it why buy the cow.........
    After they break up with you - dont go out of your way to talk to them, dont do them any favors outside of being socially polite - look happy without them - it drives them nuts
    Guys will not committ unless they think they have to.... if they can sleep with you without having to treat you right.... your not the kind of girl they want in a long term relationship - your too easy - sorry - your no longer a challenge for any guy as far as they are concerned
    dont ever get comfortable or needy in a relationship

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      I appreciate your input, but I haven't slept with my ex at all in well over a year, hence me saying that I cut him out of my life for good. And I definitely don't sleep with these guys that I've casually dated. I have enough respect for myself to not do that with someone I don't know well enough. I'm not easy, and I'm not too sure why you think I am.

      I do tend to get comfortable easily though, so I can see where that'd be a downfall. Other than the part about me being "easy", that is good advice, so thank you.

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      • MissClaire
        12 years ago

        Oh man, I didnt mean it that way. I just didnt know if you were or not - I guess I assumed by this point you made: (we'd continued sleeping with each other and hanging out on occasion for quite some time afterwards)
        Anyway, Im sorry, I re-read my comment, and I definately assumed. Also, I will admit, that I used to do this (sleep with guys early on) - so I think that I thought you were in the same boat I used to be in, and it wasnt fun.
        Its hard not to get really comfortable right away, I just know from experience. I wish you the best!
        I now just keep my distance for a while, and make them work for it. It works for me alot, if they actually like me for me, they stick around and they try really really hard:) I hope that I didnt give anyone the wrong impression about you.

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  • dappled
    12 years ago

    I know this might be slightly unconventional but have you considered asking the men you dated. If anyone knows, it's them. Some won't be honest but you only need two or three to say similar things to get a concensus.

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