Is it normal that i can't get turned on in bed and feel pain?

40% Normal
7 Comments

I am a 22 year old female, who feels a lot of pain everytime i have sexual intercourse. It is ruining my life. I always manage to attract the men that I like but keep losing them because I am unable to have a good sex life. I don't feel anything except slight discomfort when any of them finger or go down on me, and sex is slightly painful at the beginning, i let him come, and then far too sore to even begin a second time. I know I am attracted to the guys because i feel sexually charged in flirtation with them and get excited by kissing/small touches, but as soon as the heavy petting stuff begins i lose it. I think about being fucked when I masturbate, and am able to orgasm, but only by rubbing over my jeans, and don;t feel anything if i try and put my fingers inside myself. I want to have a relationship, but find it impossible to tell the guys about this, because i don;t want them to feel like they are bad lovers when it is me that is broken! IS this normal? any advice feedback would be much appreciated, even if it is harsh, Thanks for reading.

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 5 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • drbishop
    11 years ago

    1. An understanding man who loves you will accept the way you are.
    2. There might be a cure for this, just we have to know the cause.
    Are you wet at the same time you feel the discomfort or the pain during fingering or sex? Try some lube next time, perhaps it is going to help.
    Do you feel discomfort when you are horny and wet and a man fingers you very very gently and with only one finger? You should not, if so it might be some phychological or other kind of problem that only a doctor can help you with.
    Anyway, this book would help you a lot I think.
    www.edenfantasys.com/books-video-audio/educational-informative/the-ultimate-guide-to-orgasm-for-women#pcode-TTF

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    • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
      11 years ago

      VERY good ideas and excellent points

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      • drbishop
        11 years ago

        Oh, thank you very much! (:

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago

    As I stated below Dr B's post - those are some excellent points & good ideas.

    One of the things I remember from my first forays into sexual activity is that penetration wasn't always comfortable, and by the time the man came I was just starting to feel good.

    What I learned as I matured was that I was going off of how ready my partner was for penetration vs how ready *I* was. My first really good orgasm was when the man was having trouble staying erect... by the time he was properly functioning I was so warmed up I couldn't wait any longer.

    And this isn't unusual really. It's been proven in scientific study that the vaginal canal will widen (a little bit like the inside of a ballon as you inflate it) as the woman is aroused. So if she's only a little aroused she's going to be tighter than if she's fully aroused.

    And of course, how much lubrication your body creates is another factor. The output will normally increase with arousal, but it doesn't always match your body's needs. Artificial lubrications can help rectify this... and of course hydration will also play a factor as well.

    Good luck!

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    I will just add this to what everyone has already said. Being afraid it will hurt, will cause it to hurt more. Sex is very mental. If you stop and realize that having sex even though it hurt isn't going to cause any long lasting damage (Which it wont, if you see a doctor and he says you're fine) then maybe you can get past this. The fear that it's going to hurt will make your vaginal canal tighten up, and it will hurt. So just relax, accept that it will hurt, and see if you can find the pleasure in it. I've had similiar troubles... If your partners have large penis's, this can also cause discomfort

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    11 years ago

    Are you fucking men with very long dongs?

    If so, find an Asian man with a small penis.

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  • ygrowup
    11 years ago

    If you have tried lube and done your research, and that has not worked then it is time to see a doctor! Don't waste any more time

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