Is it normal that i can't get over him even after 3 yrs?

We never really dated. Never made it official. But we might as well have. Is it normal that it just kills me inside that we never became a couple? I mean broken hearts last for awhile but seriously, I've held mine for about 3 years. And only recently it hasn't been hurting that bad. But it still kills me inside. We never even kissed, we were so shy. I don't know; why can't I move on? He sure as hell did. :/ It just hurts so effin bad.

Voting Results
66% Normal
Based on 86 votes (57 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • crazykittens

    Normal. I still love my ex.

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  • PLJ

    It's normal to have trouble getting over relationships, especially important "key" ones. They're a part of what shapes us. It's good to grieve and it's normal for everyone to remember someone in their heart. But beware. Actively make an effort to move on, though it can't be forced and there's no definitive time scale. Be careful not to obsess or put that person on a "perfect-pedestal." I've had guys do this to me and it's painful & disrespectful to hear them obsess over and compare me to their long-lost exes. It also shows they're choosing to stay stuck in the past, not grow and learn from it. If you really still feel this strongly, confront that person about it (who knows?) or try to let it go. As la_uva_mojada said "...keep busy by working on yourSELF for a while and get into the groove, then you'll reap multiple benefits and be happiest all the way around." Loving yourself first (non-vain way) is a must. And MusiCman, that happens to me too..." sounds like your not over the possibilty of what could have been. Not him exactly." Sometimes we love someone for what they're not but think they can be. Or maybe we love what could have been and haven't come to terms with the fact that everything we've worked for is most likely not going to happen. At least not with that person. Relationships are a never-ending investment. Sounds like maybe you can benefit with examining the whys of it to find out why you're still feeling this way. You'll eventually move on, and someday the bitterness may fall away. Be kind to yourself though. You can do it <3.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    I'm still depressed over my ex-gf and that was also 3 years ago.

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  • ladyluck31

    All i can say is, GET OVER IT ALREADY, it's been 3 years since you both broke up. You say he moved on, so maybe it's time for you to do the same. I know how it was for me to move on after a heart break but it didn't took me 3 years to get over it... only a few mouths. He moved on and so did i and.... you could do the same.

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  • MusiCman

    Hey this happened to me 3 yrs ago to lol. We might be talkin about each other. Ok im reaching. Lol

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    • yes you're reaching hahaha

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  • MusiCman

    It sounds like your not over the possibilty of what could have been. Not him exactly. I went through the exact same situation with a girl when i was sixteen. What worked for me is i found a girl that i really care about an i realised that even if i could go back i wouldnt change my girlfriend for anyone. The idea of happiness will allways seem better than having actual happiness. Thats just what our imagination does. Good luck an dont focus so much on lookin back in the past that you look over love in the present.

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    • PLJ

      So true! Sometimes what hurts most is not getting what we worked so hard for or losing someone/something we thought we were destined for.

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    • that's true. I tend to forget. Thank you

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  • la_uva_mojada

    I wish I knew your exact age but I already know you're a lot younger than me.. I've been there, I know! I remember being 18 and thinking all I needed to be happy was to have a boyfriend, but since my self esteem and self confidence was so bad, it was impossible to get one. Later on, after I worked on myself by caring about myself enough to start working out, and start working on my own career and what not, after a while I had more guys wanting to be with me than could ever be possible. I know what you're thinking, you still are stuck on this last person, I understand. However, if you keep busy by working on yourSELF for a while and get into the groove, then you'll reap multiple benefits and be happiest all the way around. As for dating? Just hang out, and see every person you meet just as a friend to start. Just chat with them as if they were your friend only. Because real relationships, the kind that last are based on friendship. So.. when you treat each person as a FRIEND, then either you'll be their friend, or it'll become more automatically. Not anticipating will prevent disappointment and self sabotage, plus this way when your real (not fake) self is out there, you'll always win because it shows when a person is being fake and you'll be respected for having the guts to be yourself. This has worked miracles for me to the point that out of the multiple friendships I have with the opposite sex, I'm sure most of them would date me if I wanted but I don't so they settle for my friendship.. good luck! I hope to hear from you.

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    • PLJ

      Well said!

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    • I've been trying to do exactly what you've written on here a long time ago. Probably around year 2 of the whole separation. Trying everything that I can to improve myself; i MEAN everything. You're right being busy helps a lot, I have always known that after break-ups. And I am an extremely busy person. Being with him wasn't just a case of having high self-esteem. Even when I'm busy I always find time to think about it; him. I guess I need to work on it more, maybe take a different approach if its not working.
      Anyways thanks for taking time to give me a thoughtful response. Good to know the technique I've been using is working for some.

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  • Reptilia

    Dang, I thought I was heartbroken(you should look at my post just search in here by my name)but well my situation is a lil different. I did go out with her. Amd we've been separated for 3 days not years from a 5yr relationship, though it feels like it :(

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    • bises

      yeah. he left for the air force. a couple hours after he left i honestly felt like DEATH -__-

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