Is it normal that i can't concentrate on anything since this happened?

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3 Comments

A good friend of mine, who I went to high school with, murdered her ex while my best friend was with her. When I heard about it, it didn't sound real. As the hours passed, reality started kicking in. I worried for my best friend, who could't talk to me until 4 days after it happened. For those 4 days, I was basically silent and had nothing important to say to anyone, unless I was explaining what happened. My heart pounded when I talked about it. My work ethic has been below threshold. I still have a paper that is past a week overdue. I will probably write it tonight, as I'm feeling pretty normal again. Usually, schoolwork is my outlet to take my mind off of the negative things around me, but not with this. Every time I tried to be productive, my mind would wander to horrible thoughts of that day and worries just engrossed my mind. I could either think about nothing or think about this. No in-between. I'm not asking for pity or support, I'm just wondering...

Is it normal to be so deeply affected by something that didn't happen directly to me? To be so distracted and care about nothing but my best friend's life and wellbeing during the week following this event?

I feel like I should have been able to block it out, at least temporarily, and carry on with my daily activities as usual. I usually can do that, but then again nothing this terrifying has happened to me or anyone in my circle of friends before.

I know I'm putting the focus on myself in this post, and that is intentional, because I want to understand my reaction.

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90% Normal
Based on 63 votes (57 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Sog
    11 years ago

    This is the reason that counselors exist. No one should be expected to deal with something traumatic like this on their own. There's no shame in getting some help.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I don't think i need counseling. My bestie... Maybe, but she's dealing with it surprisingly well, or so it seems.

      But i wasn't there, so i'm not traumatized by the event, just deeply bothered and consumed by it.

      I guess i just feel like a part of my bestie's identity was stolen from her that day, though i'm not sure what part. I know it has changed her and will, hence, change me too, though not as drastically. It will probably change our friendship in some way... I don't even know what i'm getting at here or what kind of answers i want.

      I just never thought something like this could happen to any of my friends, especially not to the ones that try to avoid trouble.

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      • Sog
        11 years ago

        If it's bothering you so much that you have trouble socializing with people and doing class assignments, then yes that's enough to seek out counseling for help.

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