Is it normal that i can orgasm during masturbation but not during sex?

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3 Comments

Hey guys. So I'm a young (21) gay guy with a problem. When I masturbate I can orgasm no problem, in 10-20 minutes of stimulation. I can orgasm after this time with video, drawn, literary, or even no extra input (just my imagination). I masturbate regularly to completion, once or twice a day. And it's not like I watch freaky porn or anything, just normal gay porn stuff.

However, I've never been able to orgasm during sex. My first partner was trans (female to male) and we had sex quite often during the course of our 8-month relationship. All we did was oral (both ways) and vaginal (me penetrating him). But I never orgasmed. I thought maybe it was because he was physically female so subconsciously I couldn't finish. But then I had a one-night-stand with a really cute guy. I did oral on him until he finished, and found it really enjoyable. Then he did oral on me for a while (and was really good at it) but I still couldn't orgasm.

I mean, I get hard during sex and remain hard during the whole time, and it feels really enjoyable. But no matter how much I want to, I just can't orgasm. I think I'm a bottom but I've never been penetrated, so maybe that is the problem? Or maybe I'm normal? Help me out guys! Even straight guys (or girls?) who have maybe experienced this would be helpful. Thanks :)

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75% Normal
Based on 4 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • dom180
    10 years ago

    Yes, and I even have advice!

    The sort of stimulation you get from masturbating is very different to the feeling of having oral or vaginal sex (and anal sex, but to a lesser extent). Depending on your masturbation style, sex is almost always wetter, less tight and there's more stimulation on the glans than you get during masturbation. And you're not using your hand. When you masturbate, you train your body only to orgasm from that sort of stimulation and it's much harder to orgasm during sex because the stimulation is different to what you are used to.

    Try and go without masturbation or sex for about two or three weeks. Then, try to masturbate with a lot of lube, using your left hand (if you're right-handed. If you're left-handed you should use your right hand) very loosely. That kind of masturbation mimics real sexual stimulation much more closely, and you should be able to orgasm from it because you've not masturbated in a long time. Make your masturbation sessions very short; one or two minutes from start to orgasm if you can. By doing that, you're training your body to orgasm easily from realistic sexual stimulation.

    Do that sort of masturbation often and instead of your current masturbation routine and you should be able to train your body to orgasm during sex.

    If you are a bottom and you want to be able to orgasm while being penetrated, you could also practice using a dildo while you do this. I'd recommend doing that after you've got the basics sorted, though.

    It could also be a psychological problem - nerves, or stress. However, if this is the case I think learning to masturbate more realistically should still help reduce your nerves at least a bit because it makes the sensation of sex more familiar and less intimidating.

    I'm a straight-ish guy who's experienced this sort of feeling, and that's what was been helpful for me. I hope this helped :)

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    • Avaii
      10 years ago

      Thank you so much! Very kind of you to take so much time to give a coherent, thoughtful answer.

      I'll follow your advice because it sounds like you know what you're talking about. Although I honestly can't picture not masturbaing for one week, let alone two, haha.

      Thanks again :)

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  • peterr
    10 years ago

    Try taking it up the Hershey Highway and let us know how it works out.

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