Is it normal that i believe the governement is stealing my poop?

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31 Comments

Sometimes I go poop and when I peer down between my legs, it is gone. I have reason to believe the government might be taking it to study me. I think they take other things too. Sometimes, I will put my stuff down somewhere, go looking for it and can't find it. I look in other places and it shows up. I have also found my remote in the refrigerator... Why would they do this?

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Based on 124 votes (37 yes)
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Comments ( 31 )
  • dappled
    13 years ago | pl

    I once drank myself silly and in the morning, couldn't find any of my socks. It remained a mystery until later that day when I discovered every single sock I own in the freezer.

    I'm guessing it wasn't the government that did it, though.

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  • kohaku
    13 years ago

    Fake

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  • almostunreadable
    13 years ago

    Government has enough of its own shit, I dont't think they need yours :D

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  • thatsfunnyshit
    13 years ago

    Jensapa, do you work for the government? How did you know about my bloody stools?

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  • wreckd
    13 years ago

    You're not paranoid. The government is after you.

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  • t99206
    13 years ago

    if they are stealing your poop it is a real shitty thing to do.

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  • mut8ed1
    13 years ago

    Well, all the guys in Washington are full of crap, anyone can tell you that.

    But where do you think they get it all?

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  • jensapa
    13 years ago

    No one wants your bloody shit!

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You...may want to get your brain scanned for dementia or general insanity.

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  • rayst
    13 years ago

    You really think we believe you? Kinda funny whatsoever

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  • Ldizzy1234
    13 years ago

    Uhh..... you're kidding me, right?

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  • Pineapplejuice
    9 years ago

    I don't see why they would want it...but I guess the sewage treatment plant is funded by the government so they could take it if they wanted to I guess

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    There are storing it to turn it into methane for when the world becomes like the plot of Mad Max: From Under The Thunderdome.

    Take heart in that they aren't using it for scat purposes... Or, are they?!

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    • robbieforgotpw
      10 years ago

      They didn't want my two foot brown fish. They only take small ones in my experience. Anytime I take a powerdump they leave it alone
      *powerfarts twice

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      • Avant-Garde
        10 years ago

        They can't contain that power.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Umm, Special Agent Rodriguez, FBI, anyone here had a... bowl of Special K Strawberry with some OJ? Bloody stool, about a foot long.

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    • thatsfunnyshit
      12 years ago

      Yes, that is perfectly normal

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  • Inspector019
    13 years ago

    Watch your back, if that remote ends up in your ass, then you'll be on here writing some sob story about how the government fucked you, and didn't even buy you dinner....

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  • timebobbu
    13 years ago

    studying citizens poop.. best job ever amiright?

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  • thatsfunnyshit
    13 years ago

    Well mut, I believe some of it, is coming from me! They are probably collecting others turds as well. I've asked around and I am not the only one that leave a fresh log to only discover it is gone.

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  • thatsfunnyshit
    13 years ago

    The other day, I had a big bowl of fiber source cereal. I am lactose intolerant too, so they should really enjoy dissecting that one! By the evidence in the bowl, they didn't take it all that day.

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  • Xro18
    13 years ago

    Lmao lol lmao rofl run man run to Mexico

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  • bobmcay
    13 years ago

    they do do that hahaha you didn't know that they do it to study the diets of americans

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    • Bartholomew
      13 years ago

      Which is: they eat exactly what they poop.

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  • Sotchi
    13 years ago

    Maybe your ass eats it's it up real quick before you've had a chance to look

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  • Bartholomew
    13 years ago

    Move to North Dakota.

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  • DannyKanes
    13 years ago

    Lol

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  • (:sweet:)
    13 years ago

    It goes into another hole..the one in ur toilet. Ass-toilet nornal

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  • emilydoll
    13 years ago

    Lol

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Are you senile?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    haha

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