Is it normal that i believe that having children is wrong?

57% Normal

I believe that when people have birthchildren, it's wrong. I find it wrong because the world is overpopulated, there's thousands of kids in foster homes and orphanages that would love a permanent home and family, and the ideas of producing "Mini Mes" and "Leaving behind a biological legacy" just doesn't sound right nor is it fair to children that are already here. If I would like to be a mother someday, I'll try adopting a child. Is how I feel normal?

Voting Results

57% Normal

Based on 134 votes (76 yes)

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Comments ( 35 )

loopoo

11 years ago | pl

YES!! Finally, I personally never want kids, I couldn't think of a more selfish thing to do than bring a kid into this fucked up world.

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- Leviathanel
  
  11 years ago
  
  you think it would be selfish?
  
  i don't think having children will benifit me in any way. it's almost that i feel responsible, obliged to have children and be their guide in life. it's obvious to me, it's in my biological nature to raise children.
  
  but if i were to have a child i would have to give up a lot. my sleep, video games, marijuana, eating terribly unhealthy, lathargy, work more hours. ect ect. so not exactly selfish eh?
  
  but it's scary... this world is terrible. everything is uncertain, our existence may be temporary and i would never want to burden my own kin with the fear of non-existance.
  
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SkullsNBones

11 years ago

I feel exactly the same, finally someone else who realises that over-population is actually an issue!

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malkiot

11 years ago

My countries population is declining, so why should I feel bad about it?

"It's not fair to have kids when there's existing kids that you can adopt."

Why is it not fair? It isn't my fault that they are there, nor are other people my responsibility. In contrast, it would be unfair to make people adopt rather than having their own children.

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- RoseIsabella
  
  11 years ago
  
  Precisely!
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  It's not fair because there's many kids that need homes and a adoptive family and are denied of that because there's many people that would perfer having birthkids over opening their homes to a already alive child and the child ends up aging out of the system. I'm not making anyone do anything. If alot less people reproduced, there wouldn't be so many kids stuck in foster care/orphanages due to the poor choices of their birthparents. If people stopped having babies for a extended period ( but not permanently), then alot of people would have to adopt if they want to be parents. What alot of people seem to not understand is that family isn't defined by DNA. Family is defined by loving and caring about one another. By birth, a child is yours by genetics. By adoption, a child is yours by love and care.
  
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  - malkiot
    
    11 years ago
    
    Right... You sound rather naive there.
    
    First you postulate that having less children in general will lead to greater adoption rates. There is no such corellation. In fact, adoption rates have decreased as the birth rates have.
    
    Secondly, you project the fault of the birth-parents of the orphaned child onto other people who want children of their own. There is no logical reason for this, apart from seeking justification where there is none. There are advantages to adoption and it should be promoted, but this is no reason to indict - for lack of a better word - childbirth.
    
    Futhermore you assume that orphaned children are a big problem. In Germany for example a mere 65,000 children are in orphanages, this is 0.6% of all children aged 0-14. There are more than enough people already available to adopt this paltry number. What you want to work on is the social image of adoption, not on reducing births in favor of adoption.
    
    We are already trying to combat the decline of our population, why add to the problem?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Then why won't societies promote adoption? Bring a positive light to it? There seems to be a stigma attached to adoption as people would rather see others have kids instead of adopt them. There are homeless kids everywhere, not just in Germany. If people promote adoption, then people might be more open to it and alot more kids would be adopted. I'm not saying that people should completely stop having kids though.
      
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      - malkiot
        
        11 years ago
        
        Adoption is in ill repute because of stories of failure and the hardships that are portrayed in popular media. It is rare for a foster relationship in movie/series/book to be portrayed as harmonious. There are reasons for this, though I doubt that most foster relationships run the course so often portrayed, though it is true that often the relationships are... more difficult.
        
        Societies are built upon values and customs which have developed over centuries. Until fairly recently adoption was practiced mainly with children of deceased relatives or adults (to continue the name, as reward for a service etc). These customs are difficult to break as people in general do not like to change.
        
        In the developed world, the figures for orphans in homes are fairly similar. For example, the US actually has only 2/3 the per capita figure of Germany.
        
        Another issue is 'when' to adopt. If already existing children are too old (late teen/adult) they will not form a siblings bond to the new member of the family, and may well regard the newcomer as unwelcome competition. Ideally, adoption would take place as close to birth as possible, this, however, might not be ideal due to monetary and time constraints.
        
        As for other nations (nations we do not live in), they are none of our business.
        
        Don't get me wrong, I'm all for adoption. However, I was under the impression that your opinion was a little one-sided and wanted to provide you with some arguments to the contrary, so that you may ponder on them. Clearly some of the notions you had/have were/are erroneous.
        
        In our discussion we moved from "less people should have children, so that more adopt" to "adoption should be promoted and its social stigma lessened".
        
        Lastly, I would like to add that, in my opinion, the number of orphans would be reduced most by combating the source; parents who fail to take care of their children, young parents who put them up for adoption upon childbirth etc.
        
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        MilleBornes
        
        11 years ago
        
        You are awesome. Thank you for stating, with better affect, the thoughts I had about this situation
        
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starie

11 years ago

I understand why you think that way but i also understand why someone would want their own child.

I don't think it's "wrong" to want to have your own biological child. I think it would be more rational to adopt a child who is in need of a loving family but sadly not everyone thinks this way and we should respect that.

Your opinion is normal though, imo.

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MilleBornes

11 years ago

Overpopulated earth is a problem. I agree we shouldn't create what we won't take care of nor more than needed. However, no responsible family is wrong to want their own. Those orphan's parents should've been part of the responsible population. It was wrong of those parents, minus the dead parents for the most part.

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Sketcher18

11 years ago

I'm happy to see someone who thinks like me!
I know that adoption is a bit more tricky than just giving birth, but it's also much more helpful and satisfying.
It makes me sad to see people just popping out 5 or 7 kids into this world, but yet there are a million of children
who need good homes to go to.

Besides, this world is overpopulated enough.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Yeah you can go ahead and be sterile, have fun condescending to people who want biological children.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I'm not trying to be condescending or force people to believe in the same thing I do, get themselves sterilized and adopt a child or more. I'm just sharing how I feel about the matter.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    Even from a moral standpoint, I still disagree with you. What are you saying, that if a child is waiting in line than my potential child has less moral significance? Please, tell me about this queue of descending moral value that you have contrived.
    
    Showing a child that I love and respect them is probably the greatest gift that I hope to one day give; to show a *person* care and *love*. It doesn't matter who it is. Are you saying that if a child is unwanted then he/she is more capable of happiness and thus more deserving of attention? If for some reason I can only have and bring happiness to one child, I will choose to do so biologically, because I do not believe that love from another human being is something that one has to wait in line for.
    
    "Love" is not really an issue of morality. If I told you that this guy I know has no friends, even his family hates him, would you drop everything and be his best friend just because nobody else will? Its not as though you actually have feelings for him as an individual. Is that really being a friend?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      I don't think I'm saying any of that. I'm just saying that it's more ethical and rational to adopt rather than have birthkids.
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        11 years ago
        
        I think just said why its not.
        
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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

The legacy ends with you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Not neccessarily. My mother currently has two biological grandchildren so if my brother's kids have kids, my family will continue to expand. Kids are not needed from me nor do I want to carry on my DNA. The legacy might continue from my brother's family.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    That's cool. I understand how you feel. I'm kinda the same. If only I could prepare my life to have little ninjas. I guess I will find out.
    
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davesumba

11 years ago

I strongly disagree. There is something really special about being able to see yourself in your kids. So why must you suffer, because all of the dumb ass sex crazed idiots of our time weren't responsible.

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Sog

11 years ago

Most parents take great pride in the fact that their genetic material will live on in the future, even after they die. That is their legacy. For many, it gives meaning to living their life.

I'm not trying to say that there's anything wrong with adoption - I think that's great that you want to take in and raise otherwise abandoned children. But you must also understand that it's not the same as being a biological parent.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I know it's not the same. But that doesn't mean it can't be as good or even better that having birthkids (I think it's better personally because you're not contributing to overpopulation and you're giving a child a chance at a home and a parent). I have reasons why I would adopt rather than have a birthchild if I desire to be a mother one day.
  
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  - Sog
    
    11 years ago
    
    I don't necessarily disagree with you, but all I'm trying to say is that your comment sounds like an indictment of anyone who chooses to bear children instead of adopting them. That's not really fair.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      It's not fair to have kids when there's existing kids that you can adopt. I'm sorry. I just feel as if having birthchildren is wrong. It just screams "Wrong" at every angle I look at it. I just feel that people should adopt more. I'm not forcing anyone to adopt though. It's their lives, not mine and they can still have birthkids if they want to (I just don't think it's right).
      
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      - Sog
        
        11 years ago
        
        I'm not offended - you are entitled to have an opinion. But I voted not normal as evidenced by the rate of adoption compared to child birth. In my opinion it really is a lot to ask for someone to choose to adopt a child when facing this decision.
        
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CheyChey

11 years ago

If having a child is wrong then I do not want to be right. I don't have children but some day I will. There is nothing wrong with wanting to carry a child for nine months, give birth to them. I would want my child to look like me, his/her dad, my mum or even my dad. The world is overpopulated yes but that is not even a valid point in opposing people having a biological child of their own. I believe in adoption as well it's a wonderful thing but before I go down that lane I would want to have kids of my own, call me old fashioned but that's the way I feel

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highrider

11 years ago

I agree with u. People should adopt all the kids in foster care and orphanages first and then continue with having kids

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Leviathanel

11 years ago

i see your point of view. i guess you're right, having my genes carry on is sort of superfical when you think about it eh?

aww well. can't say i'm part of the solution all i can say is that i promise i will not abandon my children and hope that i don't die when they still need me.

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Ibelievethis

11 years ago

No disrespect but were your parents wrong to have you. Sorry but you can't have it both ways. That aint the way life works, I'm afraid. xx

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NateWest

11 years ago

I wasn't aware over population was a problem

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darklord0211

11 years ago

No it is not normal as over-population does not exist, in England (a portion of that small island off the coast of Europe) there are over 40 million people living here and I can tell you, its wide open space for miles, we could do with hundreds of millions of more people here and not be over populated.

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- SkullsNBones
  
  11 years ago
  
  Please do explain to me our housing problem then.
  
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  - malkiot
    
    11 years ago
    
    Because, good sir, housing problems do not constitute overpopulation.
    
    Housing problems arise when not enough houses are built in a given area, due to legislation, funding etc., whilst people are moving into that area. This doesn't change that other areas are being depopulated or are very sparsely populated.
    
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i believe that having children is wrong?