Is it normal that i apologize according to how i'm treated

73% Normal
17 Comments

Whenever someone is upset with me, I will literally only apologize if they can explain why they're upset like a rational person. As an example back in my early college years I borrowed a friends game and forgot to return it...and left it out by accident. So he screams at me like he's some 5 year old whose favorite toy I broke in front of him. I did not apologize. I understood why he was mad, and in his place I would have also been upset. If he had come to me calmly I would've apologized and even bought him a new game. Honestly it's like this for every time I'm supposed to apologize. If people come at me with calmness I'll feel genuinely apologetic, if I'm met with hostility I get stubborn, it's like; "I get that your upset, but you're screaming at me over something that is incredibly stupid."

Is it normal?

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 22 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    So the times when you make someone the most mad, are the times when you're not going to apologise..? It's maybe not the best way to be.
    That said, the best, most meaningful apologies come when everyone is calm and talking seriously. When they're screaming and going nuts, your apology isn't going to mean much anyway, so maybe you've got a good point.
    As long as you do sincerely apologise at some point, imo it shows character. Not everybody is capable of it.

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  • JD777
    8 years ago

    No one likes people who over react to things, so that part is normal. But, there are two things that give me pause when you say "it's like this every time I'm supposed to apologize." If it happens every time for you, I wonder if your immediate indifference (or whatever attitude you're giving off) provokes the person and causes the situation to escalate. And using the words "supposed to" makes me wonder if you think apologizing is a chore rather than a gracious part of admiting to a mistake.

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    • Asstastics
      8 years ago

      Hey JD, this is your Ass. I graciously admit that I have been too critical with you at times in the past. Nevertheless, you are quite fun to follow around.

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      • JD777
        8 years ago

        Hey Ass, no worries, it's all in good fun. I try not to take this site too seriously. I have to go - don't want anyone seeing me talking to my ass......

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        • Asstastics
          8 years ago

          I completely understand. I've got a bit of integral calculus to do myself. Have a good day.

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          • JD777
            8 years ago

            Here’s the actual extra credit question from one of my calculus finals. Give it to your professor for his entertainment. A swimming pool of ellipsoidal shape is filled with water to one foot above capacity. The pool is 20 feet long, 10 feet wide and 8 feet deep. The walls of the pool are curved from the top of the wall down to the drain. This curve is such that a line drawn from the top end of the curve to the drain end of the curve is always two feet from the farthest point of the curve. The drain is eight inches in diameter and flows without excess back pressure restriction. How long will it take to drain the pool? You cannot use a calculator with any more than plus, minus, times, division, exponent and root functions. Explain your assumptions and answer.

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            • Asstastics
              8 years ago

              Hmmmm.

              Question 1. Am I expected to derive the initial volumetric flow thru the drain? If so, this is a physics test.

              Question 2. If the pool is truly ellipsoid (a rotated ellipse) then this curve being two feet from its furthest point seems ambiguous.

              Question 3. Pressure and volume as a function of depth is no problem; I can put that together. But since dV/dt = f(Pressure), how the fuck can one proceed without knowing this relationship, or is it some kind of Bernoulli thinger.

              PS. Unfortunately, I am my own professor because I live in my car.

              PPS. Since I am your Ass, these questions are nothing more than a queasy fart in the background of your cognitive ruminations.

              PPPS. Thanks for the problem, a change of pace from my expert level sudoku book was a welcome change.

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  • Aries
    8 years ago

    I think how they deal with an issue is something separate from your apology . It's more about doing what you know is right and keeping up with your values rather than apologizing only under the "correct" circumstances or what you deem to be . I would say you should be apologizing anyways since , taking responsibility for your actions is more important than proving a point .. it seems to be an issue of control for you . If we applied your logic to any other scenario it would go like this : you cheat on your girlfriend .. she becomes upset , angry and raises her voice but ....... you wont apologize because she hasn't been calm and explained herself "rationally"

    I am sorry but I think that perspective is a little fucked up if you ask me?

    think about it .

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    YOU fuck up or do something discourteous and someone else has to meet YOUR standards to get an apology out of you?
    That's just about the stupidest thing I've heard in a long time. I'm guessing you don't have very many friends. I'm sure as hell not playing your stupid game.

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  • Cliche1234
    8 years ago

    Damn. If I were your friend, I'll grate your face like a cheese you're. You have to apologize to your friend no matter what. It's your damn fault.

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    You're an entitled asshole with an attitude problem.

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    • Aries
      8 years ago

      My notifications claims this is a reply to my comment ? strange because I find that hard to believe this is actually the case ... weird , maybe someone deleted their reply?

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        Maybe so I was just making a comment to OP, but strange stuff happens, especially when comments get deleted.

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        • Aries
          8 years ago

          no worry to me , as long as I am not an entitled asshole xD

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          • RoseIsabella
            8 years ago

            Cool beans.

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