Is it normal that i am very resentful towards my parents for...

78% Normal
9 Comments

..not giving two pennies worth of shit about my goals, dreams and aspirations? When I was a kid, I had big dreams of becoming a singer, dancer and actress; an entertainer. I had potential and a bright personality. Instead of taking me to dance, vocal, and acting classes to build my confidence and skills, they actually told me I had no talent or potential. Singing was the only thing that brought me peace.

I practiced and honed the skill myself until high school when I started smoking and generally being a delinquent. My home life was dysfunctional, really very rough, and I tried to escape by drinking and smoking with the bad kids. running away from home. dropping out of school. the works.

I'm 21 now and still have a good voice (not great), and sincerely think that if I had not gone down that path, one my family effectively encouraged, I could have been living my dream. Instead, I have no confidence. I don't value myself. I'm not living the life I expected to. I am not who I know I should be.

I can't understand why, and what purpose it served for, my parents to treat me so badly. To show no love. No support. I've been fending for myself, emotionally, for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine saying the things my mother said to me, to my daughter or to any child. In fact, I'm afraid to ever have children simply because I'm liable to have just as destructive and reprehensible parenting skills.

This is a life long story, but the point is that I am very resentful, because I feel like my parents repressed my potential for happiness, by killing my dreams. It hurts a lot. All I needed was a little support, and someone to believe in me. Normal?

It's late in life to start, but I'll be financing my own singing classes. I'm thinking that if I train with a professional I could build up to performing some gigs. Maybe find a band. Do small shit. Performing for people puts me at ease and gets me high.

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 32 votes (25 yes)
Feeling Suicidal?
We couldn't help but notice that you might be asking about things related to suicide...
If that's not the case, please ignore this message.
But, if that is the case, please, please, please call this hotline and talk to someone about it. Or, visit one of these websites and get some help.
Unfortunately IIN isn't the best place for you to be asking about this. Check out the above websites or call one of the hotlines instead. They can help. Really. We know what we're talking about. Call. Do it. Please.
Remember that everything gets better with time.
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 )
  • ifonlyuknew247
    10 years ago

    I can understand where you are coming from with this. I had a similar resentment. I believe many people do. However, once I was in my early twenties and on my own, and realized the world wasn't going to pay me back what I felt I was entitled to, I thought I'd better just accept that they did their best or whatever, be grateful for my health and a lot of other stuff, including my realization of what is healthy, and use the experience to better myself as a grown up.

    It very much pains me to say this, and if I were to hear it from someone else when I was your age I'd probably flip the eff out, but this is the truth:

    You must accept your realized past, forgive the people who tried their best to raise you, and now that you are a MATURE adult with your own choices and the entire world open to you and the uniqueness you have to bring to it, you will need to suck it up and be the best you you can be. The longer you stew in your resentment of how unfair your life was, the more joy you will miss out on now that you have more control over who you are. Don't do that to yourself, or the others in your life who are waiting to experience the goodness you have within yourself to bring to them.

    Best of luck to you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • NotStrangeBird
    11 years ago

    The time will come when they will need something from you. Maybe you can forgive them and help them at that point.

    Even if you do forgive, it shouldn't stop you from giving them an earful.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I don't really care for reconciliation. They are ceaselessly toxic people.

      I guess I'm just pissed, I feel I wasn't 'lucky'. I know I'm not the only one though.

      thanks.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • NotStrangeBird
        11 years ago

        Go visit Bangladesh. You'll get an idea just how lucky you are.

        But I know what you mean. If there's no reconcilliation, you can always still give an earful when they (I assume it will be inevitable) come wanting something.

        Slam the door in their face and laugh.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          -_- this has nothing to do with economic and/or living conditions.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • NotStrangeBird
            11 years ago

            OK then. It is not normal that you grew up under these conditions and I hope you can succeed without their help or approval.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • cumblaster
    11 years ago

    You have to take contol of your own life and don't count on any one else to motivate or help you.
    I have a similar situation... Im 51 and my life is a complete failure. I'm divorced, unemployed and living in a cottage in the woods with no freinds and no lover. And it recently occured to me that my parents never corrected me, never pushed me, it's like they just gave up on me when I was a kid. So now I am lazy and unmotivated. I failed collage and my parents never said a word about it. They SHOULD have smacked me upside the head and told me to get back and finish school. They never offered me any life advise on how to be a good husband or father or how to be a good, professional employee. My whole life has been finding things out through trial and error and failure, they never mentored me or tried to put me on the right path. I've spent my life lost and never knowing what I should do.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • lizieralizard
    11 years ago

    o comeon, wahwahwah! my mommy and daddy didnt take me to singing class! boohoo! maybe u should have kids so u can see how much work they are and how ungrateful they can be.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    Also, I'd like people to share similar experiences. Not exclusive to your parents of course.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0