Is it normal that i am rejected by people who flirt with me?

51% Normal
21 Comments

I am a 19 years old girl, not pretty but not too ugly either. Since I started taking better care of myself and went to college, I started having guys occasionaly give me attention, sometimes even to the stalker level. The problem is...it never goes beyond that.
I ended up falling for one of the guys who approached me, he would help me with anything even if I never asked for help, he would flirt with me, tickle me, hold my hand, rest his head on my shoulder, and find excuses to see me all the time. After a few months of this I ended up telling him of my feelings....only to be rejected!
I also had a guy friend I liked tell me he used to like me after he found a new girl, between other cases. They never tell me if they currently like me, but if I tell them, then I'm rejected. I've tried flirting back, but it doesn't seem to work, they never ask me out. I've never even been kissed, and I'm afraid I'll be alone forever, specially since I'm very shy. I'm so hurt and confused, is it normal for guys to act like this?

Voting Results
51% Normal
Based on 59 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Commitment, Makes em runs ya see.

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    It seems sort of odd. If there's anything I could say it's that rejection is a part of life, although I highly doubt you'll die alone. If you want to control your destiny then try asking out someone, don't wait for them to show interest, just wait and see if you like the person. Take a chance and see what happens. If your feelings aren't reciprocated then move on, but don't feel discouraged. You're probably a wonderful person and someday somebody will see that.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you! I am trying, but it's very hard after you are rejected so much, it ends up making you too anxious to trust people and trying again ):

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      • Anime7
        10 years ago

        Believe me I know that all too well. I guess perhaps you could just wait until someone asks you out? At least then you know that someone likes you.

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  • MarieSugarFree
    10 years ago

    Mine is always 2 days. Guys will approach me, will talk to me for 2 days and no more than that.

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  • lufa
    10 years ago

    I've had similar experiences, some girls just enjoy staring at me and or flirting. When I asked them out, they turned me down but then went back to staring/flirting.

    A couple of them had bf's already. Of course I don't waste time on people who play silly games.

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  • Dib
    10 years ago

    I've had two people come up to me and said they loved me then a week later told me that they regret saying it and they never loved me in the first place. These were two different people at two different times. Happened almost the same way too. I think I'm cursed.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I feel ya. :(
      Though the only time someone has ever said they loved me was in like 4th grade, and I was too young to even understand the concept of "love" back then...

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  • davesumba
    10 years ago

    Completely normal. Guys and girls both "harmlessly" flirt with each other with no intention of ever wanting to be with them. With some people, that is the only or main way they know how to interact with the opposite sex.

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  • ygrowup
    10 years ago

    There has to be so much more to your story than that. I cannot help without being closer to the situation, maybe you should talk with your friends about this? You still young and there are many guys that would love you, but you haven't met them yet, there is still plenty of time, get yourself out there and enjoy yourself, you will find the right guy when you are not looking

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      You're right, it's hard to shorten the story without cutting important details out. I do talk to my friends a lot, but I feel like I annoy them, so I try to keep it down.
      Thanks you!

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    "started having guys occasionaly give me attention, sometimes even to the stalker level"

    Not one person who ever says so has a "real" stalker, they are quite rare and don't stop until they are in prison or dead. People confuse "stalker" with a "mild harasser" lol.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Yeah...I did exagerate there haha, I'm actually referring to those desperate guys who text you all day even if you don't reply and randomly appear wherever you are and stuff. They creep me out xP

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        I kinda think there are two different things going on here. I think the "desperate guys who text you all day even if you don't reply" usually tend to be relatively harmless but I wouldn't carve that in stone. I basically just ignore their texts but if I thought the person was extra creepy I might save the texts in case I need them for legal reasons.

        When I was in college I had an this stupid jerk who would "randomly appear wherever" I was and it did escalate to the point where he was outside my dorm room honking his car horn, flashing his brights and calling my name. I did end up calling the campus cops and he finally left me alone after that. But the shitty thing is that before all of that there were people who thought his behavior was cute and that he just had a crush on me. Ugh!

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Wow, that's extra-creepy! My worst situation was this guy who would knock on my dorm room door multiple times every day and kept trying to get inside. He also tried to convince me to randomly get into buses to faraway places with him and brought rape up as a casual conversation topic more than once... My friends say I'm a creep magnet...only the creeps like me.

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          • RoseIsabella
            10 years ago

            Yuck! I actually think yours has me beat on a creepiness scale. I'm thinking maybe the thing isn't being a creep magnet so much as being too polite to them. Creeps tend to have a certain level of social retardation where they just can't take a hint. Don't be mean but be firm in stating that you're not interested and want to be left alone. Also you don't have to be friendly with everyone just to be polite. Being civil is fine too. If someone keeps showing up at your door you can tell the RA or campus cops. I hope this helps.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Say "go away you naughty harassers! Stop molesting me with texts!"

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    I have to say that this one of the reasons I don't like flirting very much. Honestly, I prefer flirting with gay men over anyone else because it's safe and fun.

    I don't like it when someone is all flirty with me and then I feel pressured to flirt back and when I do the person hits on me! I remember one particular instance where a guy at work flirted with me and I thought it was just in good fun. He wasn't ugly or I wouldn't have flirted with him at all and in fact he was attractive but I wasn't interested and he ended up smacking me on the ass. I probably should have went to human resources but it happened so fast and I basically told him not to ever touch me again or I would punch him in the face. Thank God he left me alone after that! What a creep!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I know what you mean. When guys straight up hit on me without knowing me first, it annoys me, specially because they usually seem desperate and it feels wrong. But when guys act friendly and respectful and I end up liking them, that's when I'm friendzoned, so I can't ever win. Maybe I've got an unrealistic view on romance. :/

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  • SuperBenzid
    10 years ago

    One idea I have is that if you are moving quite slow these guys have probably come to see you as a friend and are looking at other girls by the time you ask them out. They probably think of you too much as a friend to want to be romantic with you anymore.

    I wouldn't worry about it too much, romance will happen in your life. It would happen even if you tried to avoid it, do it what you can to get out there but don't stress too much.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I think you are right, I did take too long and he told me I am just a friend...the problem is that I'm way too shy so I end up waiting too long, and people tell me that men don't like when girls make the first move so it scares me to do anything...sincerely, I only confess my feelings so I can be rejected to have closure and move on faster.
      Thanks, I hope it does happen someday.

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