Is it normal that i am obssesed with my boyfriends ex?

57% Normal
7 Comments

I am totally obssesed with my boyfriends ex-girlfriend. My partner and I have been together 18 months now and have a really good, loving, wonderful relationship but for nearly all the relationship I have been worrying his ex, I spend time looking at her photos on Facebook and hcomparing myself to her (she is model). I found out that she still loves him and calls him and emails him. He promises me that he does not care for her at all and does not even respond to her emails. Hes ays he is getting really fed up of me asking about her all the time and asking if she has been in contact, he said i should just believe him that he doesn't care about her and he was the one who finished it with her. It just upsets me that she still loves him and wont leave him alone. Recently he emailed her asking her to stop contacting him as it was upsetting me but she still does it. I find myself dreaming about her and thinking crazy thoughts about things that will never happen and I know I am driving my boyfriend crazy and making myself upset... how do I forget about her and believe my boyfrined and get on with our relationship?? She lives abroad but is coming to london to study in the summer and I am scared she will take him away from me! Any tips on how I can just put it all to the back of my mind? x

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 49 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • jessicia16
    13 years ago

    is she older or younger than you ? my mother always told me that a man will stand beside a younger woman every time over an older, anyway hope yoour the younger one haha sorry if your not , just ignore my advice :)

    PS: anyway he is with you right ? and thats by choice so i think you should give him the respect and trust he deserves too ... if he really wants to go and does one day , then let him ... who wants to be with someone who would leave them? ... your kinda lucky you get to test him like this .... lotta girls dont find out untill they have 2 kids and 15 years of marrage ...and hes now with the 19year old hottie he works with.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Cunt punt her next time you see her. Ex's shouldn't talk ever.

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  • bazwell
    14 years ago

    No, I think you are mistaken, she will not take him away from you when she comes to London for the summer, YOU will drive him into her arms!

    You describe yourself as an insecure, nagging girlfriend that no man could bare to be stuck with for too long. You describe your boyfriend as a man trying had to be faithful and supportive of you, but there is no way for him to fix your insecurities; that is on you...it's your task to complete.

    I suggest that you see a counselor to deal with the feelings of co-dependence and insecurity you feel towards his ex. If that is not possible, then do some deep reflection about what part you are playing in sabotaging your relationship: Her attractiveness and persistence seem to be interpreted by you as a threat, but it does make sense that a secure woman, who values a friend or ex may want to fight for the relationship she shares with him (without wanting it to be more than a platonic friendship). In other words, until she takes some overt step towards reclaiming your boyfriend as hers, she has done nothing wrong, and it is all in your head. Even if she does, you must trust in your boyfriend to stay faithful to you and not be seduced by her charms. This is what an adult relationship is about: Trust!

    Acknowledge this and take responsibility for your actions and their potential consequences thus far. Stop giving your boyfriend ultimatums or making him feel guilty for your insecurities and fears. I would even recommend that you ask your boyfriend to set up a lunch date with the three of you when she arrives. Seeing both of you together may help to drive home the point to her that he is not available any longer. For you, this may defuse your anxieties and provide a chance to see her and her flaws; after all she is only human and there is a reason why your boyfriend is with you and not her.

    best of luck to you!

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  • Adallynn726
    12 years ago

    you need to scare the bitch off yourself! WOMAN UP n dont worry about ur man, if he wanted to be with her then he would be,but hes not

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    If you really believe he is not that committed to you and you'll just end up being tossed aside for her, then get out.

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  • Mellox
    13 years ago

    Alicia?

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    baz spells it out very well. you don't want to be a "self fulfilling prophesy" do you?

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