Is it normal that i am not over my ex from almost a year ago?

Hey everyone, Thanks first for reading. I know this is another "sappy" love heartbreak tale where i tell you I am not over my ex. It is, to start i met this guy about 6 years ago, he was dating someone it didnt work out, I met someone dated for a year, and then we broke up. So i thought of this past guy Zac that was dating someone at the time of meeting. I texted him, same number! He was single and we hit it off! I ended up moving in with a bipolar roomate, things went well for about 4 months. He went to Japan to visit a freind, it was the worst, I fought alot with my roomate and had no where to go to seek help. He came back and then I decieded to move out, she got the electric shut off, that was my breaking point. So he said his lease was up and we should get an APT together, we did. Same day he lost his job :-/ I had an employee that worked for me whos father had his own roofing company- Pulled some strings and he got a job after 2 months unemployeed. He was so great they promoted him in like 3 months! After the promotion things got weird. Maybe it was living together or whatever. We tried though, and then we started to rent a house , a rent to own type deal. Well i ended sleeping on the couch for almost 2 years, i coudlnt stand the snorring, and i am a light sleeper, i tried to get him to go to doc to see about a cpap or some solutions for this, he would never go. So i just slept on couch, it became normal. Sex became maybe 2 times in 9 months. We are 25 and 28 not normal right?! i tried, i suck at cooking and even tried one night, with some champagne and everything, i needed some sexual attention. Nothing. Well i was sick of us acting like siblings. i said we are going on this camping trip with our freinds, after that if things dont change i am leaving, things didnt change, i told him i was, i stayed at a freinds for about 3 days then started to pack my things we talked a lil here and there, and he never asked me, begged me to come back. That killed me. I moved out in August, then in Oct i was driving to work, i saw an accident, a young man hit a tree. He was pinned in the seat by steering wheel. I went down and held this kids hand for about 15 minutes before me and another man could pull him free, 3 men and i stayed with this for a while i was covered in blood and smoke and sut and he ended up dieing a few weeks later. That plays in my head alot, but i was so upset about the break up back then, Now, its all i think of. He doesnt answer me when i send messages - i havent sent more then 3. I am living with people i cant talk about this to anymore cause they are sick of hearing about it. i want him back i want him in my arms and i want to be happy. he wants nothing to do with me. wtf the wrong with me. i just wana be over this.