Is it normal that i am happy about having an unattainable love?

68% Normal
11 Comments

I love someone that I will never reach. Someone that I would never even be able to make happy if I had the chance. Someone that will never be able to love me as much as I love her. And I know this for sure, because she is one of my best friends and the girlfriend of my best friend.

This has affected me a lot during these last years. I have a subconscious reluctance to date people... and when I do, no one ever seems good enough. I have been in a few long relationships too during this time; but nothing ever feel special enough.

And there it is this girl... and I know that letting go would make my life much easier and allow me to see what's in front of me better. But I don't want to let go, because it makes me happy to have all these feelings, even if they are never going to be reciprocated. And she is such a big part of my life already, that if I get some distance I would have to leave many things behind as well.

So, what do you think people? Is this normal?

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 31 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Freedom_
    10 years ago

    Unattainable love can be truly invigorating. I'm about to quote Andy Warhol....I feel it coming..

    "Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet."

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  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    I don't see how this can make you happy. You're in love with someone who will never love you, you're constantly pinning your hopes on one girl, that you know will never be the one.

    This actually makes me kind of sad because I know what it feels like to love someone unattainable. It just ends with a broken heart, and a bottle of scotch duck taped to your hand. It's the worst kind of feeling, that one person you love so much is the one person you'll never end up with.

    I used to wish that I would be sitting in a rocking chair watching the sunset with the guy I thought was the one, and you know it turns out he wasn't the one. He was just the guy, I never was going to have a future with. I still look back at our relationship and it makes me happy that I had those memories, but sad that they ended, there is no happiness to be found at the bottom of a bottle. There is no future in wishing on a love that never will be.

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    That fact that you say you're "happy to feel" makes me think that there isn't a lot of stimulation in your life. At first I thought that you liked liking her because it gave you an immortal goal, something to pretty much keep you busy, but the way you describe it's not that at all. It sounds like there are things tied to this girl since like you said you can't just let go. What is it? I mean why can't you just let go? I'm not saying put some distance, I'm not saying that you should put some distance between you two, but instead realize that it's never going to happen. Then again you already know this, and you claim to be happy. I personally don't find this normal, but whatever makes you happy I guess.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      You are kind of right. For a very long time in my life I felt devoid of feelings. But when I befriended and got to know her, I realized that I was not dead inside. Yet, almost every single person besides her still makes me feel empty. She is one of the few people in this world that can light up my day... the other being his boyfriend, my best friend.

      Additionally, I also enjoy her friendship a lot. We already share a lot as well: friends, activities, even job related things. So the few things that bring me happiness are linked to her in some way.

      Mostly, I don't want to let go because I don't want to lower my standards. I don't want to settle for something that doesn't fulfill my expectations. I figured out that if someone truly worthy appeared, I would be able to move on.

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      • Anime7
        10 years ago

        Well just because you stopped having feelings for this girl doesn't mean that you have to stop enjoying her company. It also doesn't mean that you'll be lowering your standards. I mean you have a great friendship focus on that. If you ever meet somebody just make sure that stick to your guns, and by that I mean your expectations. When I say "let go" what I mean is that you shouldn't be so absorbed in this girl, beyond that of friendship. You guys can still hang out and do all these great things, but just tone down the "love" that you have for her. But letting go doesn't mean that you shouldn't care.

        That's just my advice. But again if you're happy then who am I to tell you what to do.

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  • confusedandworried
    10 years ago

    Steal her away. You only live once. You can get a new best friend.

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  • noid
    10 years ago

    Sure if you're happy... More than can be said for most marriages and many relationships....

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  • DangerousPotatoGuy
    10 years ago

    Melancholy Masochist?

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    Your happy, your fucking kidding me.

    I get drunk, lay in the fetal position, masterbate, cry, and wish that I had the courage to kill myself...over a hooker! and you say your happy!!

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  • Crusades
    10 years ago

    Are you asexual?

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    • DangerousPotatoGuy
      10 years ago

      I think he's more like melancholy masochist

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