Is it normal that i am friends with her?

83% Normal
6 Comments

I'll keep it short. There is a girl I am really good friends with and she is really touchy, but I am quite confident she doesn't like me (she's like that with everyone). I am physically attracted to her but not emotionally attracted. Is it normal that I am friends with her? In other words, is it normal to be friends with someone you are physically attracted to? By friends I mean a real (true) friend.

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 54 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • OnThisEpisodeofLife
    12 years ago

    I feel like attraction is not just physical. Just don't be alone with her because your body talks a different language than your mind , will , and emotions.

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  • rsfeverdom
    12 years ago

    I think it's curious that you say you aren't emotionally attracted to her at all, yet you say you are real (true) friends. This seems counterintuitive to me.

    It is perfectly natural to be physically attracted to a friend. In fact, one of the reasons you are probably friends is because of at least a slight physical attraction between yourselves.

    If your friendship only consists of her "being touchy" and you being physically (and not emotionally) attracted, then I think that falls out of the bounds of a "normal" friendship.

    Maybe you have some kind of deep intellectual but unemotional connection with her?

    But let's be frank here: If you have a deep intellectual connection with her, and you are physically attracted to her, then you probably have some "feelings" for her. It IS perfectly normal to allow those feelings to develop.

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    • rsfeverdom
      12 years ago

      a few more details on the situation might help round out my understanding, and subsequently, advice.

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      • freeloader145
        12 years ago

        Thanks for being so helpful. I think the best way to explain this is to address the issue in terms of the triune brain theory. Essentially this theory states that the human brain is actually three brains that have grown on top of one another. One brain (the physical one) controls basic functions and is responsible for instinctual urges, another controls the emotional aspect and is responsible for emotions, etc and the last controls the logical aspect and is responsible for "rational" decision making. I use this model to help myself make tough decisions which usually happen when these brains battle against each other. With this girl, my physical brain tells me that I am physically attracted to her, my emotional brain says that I am very close to her emotionally (I care and worry about her alot), but my logical brain is an absolute NO to ever going out with her. What do you think this means?

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  • lc1988
    12 years ago

    I'm best friends with a guy and we went through the physical attraction stage at different times (I could definitely tell when his stage was) but we never acted on it. This is completely normal in my book and I think it is just best to stay friends.

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    • freeloader145
      12 years ago

      Thanks, its good to get a girl's perspective.

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