Is it normal that i am forcing myself to think about dating?

79% Normal
12 Comments

I am an 18-year-old male, and I've been single my whole life. I've never been interested in really dating anyone yet because I just don't see myself going anywhere with anyone yet and when I date, I want it to mean something for me--not just be a hookup.

The past year, though, there come times when I see my friends who have had more "experience" than me, and it makes me wonder for a while about dating. And although I haven't met someone that I want to date, I almost force myself to think about certain girls and what it would be like to be in a relationship. I don't think I'm actually ready to be in a relationship, and there's no one in my life right now that I would want to be more than friends with.

Is it normal that I haven't dated anyone yet? I'm just waiting...

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 63 votes (50 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Tekhed
    11 years ago

    "Your whole life"...I had to chuckle just a little at that part. Your whole life is 2 years short of my time spent in my career, so to me it looks like you have another "whole life" to worry about dating.

    That said, it is absolutely normal to worry at every stage in life. We worry about the same thing for different reasons at these different stages. At this point (18), I'd say definitely date, definitely fall in love and please don't be afraid to get hurt. It's sort of like riding a bike, at some point, no matter how good you are at it, you will fall. The key is to know this ahead of time and get up again...and again...and learn from each relationship.

    The final relationship will be the result of all the good and bad experiences that will be a gift to your final partner. The best part is, you will fully know who you are and your partner will benefit from this, as will your future family.

    The only way you can "not be careful" with your love, is if you never learn from your mistakes, or continue down self-destructive paths.

    There are consequences to every decision we make. When I was younger I chose to be a player. While my experience list is long, my list of quality partners is very very short...3. Others have chosen to be very selective right away, and in some cases this has still ended in divorce leaving those folks wondering why they didn't go out and experiment more. There is no right choice...only choices.

    Go out there, experience as much as you're comfortable with.

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    • ganesha
      10 years ago

      Can I just say that I like your username?

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    • MmmHmm
      11 years ago

      Thank you for your answer! And I agree that I am still young. I said that just because I have friends that have had much more experience than me, making it seem like that much longer time I've spent not dating.

      Really, I'm not afraid of the concept of dating or of being with girls... I'm just not interested in dating at the moment. Is that abnormal? I've really just recently begun to feel like I have close friends and with all the change that is occurring with college, it's just not at the top of my list. Is that normal for someone my age?

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    11 years ago

    You're not even curious to taste a kitty?

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    • MmmHmm
      11 years ago

      Haha, obviously I am very curious! I want to do things, but I also don't want to. If that makes any sense... I want to wait and be careful of my love life because being alone for so long, I've really come to appreciate being single and waiting for someone special.

      Trust me, if I met someone that I would want to be in a relationship, I would. But is it normal that I haven't found someone like that yet? Most of the girls I meet, I only think of as friends and don't even think of them sexually.

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  • KBSH
    11 years ago

    Have you ever had a crush? Do you currently have a crush?

    You're 18, right? Have you been accepted into a good college of your choice?

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    • MmmHmm
      11 years ago

      I have had crushes, but I've never wanted them to advance to anything more serious.

      I am currently in my freshman year at the college of my choice, so part of my not wanting to date or be in a relationship is that I want to focus on my future first and hopefully find someone similar to me that has similar goals and interests.

      I'm just not sure I know myself enough yet to be able to handle a relationship with someone else. I just sort of have been thinking a lot about how I've been single all this time and how I'm very inexperienced.

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      • 1000yrVampireKing
        11 years ago

        It is normal. It is normal to feel left out even if you are not interested in it. Since everyone else is doing it you kind of feel the desire to not be the only one left out of the crowd. Though the truth is it is not always worth being part of the crowd. That and most people do not want a relationship. Most people want a fling so if you are actually looking for someone who will last watch who you are hooking up with. People really do not understand the meaning of commitment anymore. Sad as that might sound. Dont let anyone pressure you into doing something you do not want to. The reason they call it the "Dating game" is that is all it really is. Most people will not make it past a month or two.

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      • KBSH
        11 years ago

        But you are already in college! College time is meant to be fun. When you have a crush, or if you have a crush, force yourself to give it a chance! People in class are bound to have similar interests, give 'em a chance.

        You are in college. College, unlike high school, gives you moving space. You can go out without it implicating.

        You think you know yourself, but maybe you may be wrong. We all think we cannot handle a relationship, but who knows? You may very well be able to! And if you can't, there is always therapy. Everyone can manage human relationships, some just need some help (which too is readily available.) Don't overthink this. Just go out there and get yourself something worthy of living!

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    I've been single my whole life as well, you're not alone. There's no problem in waiting, but I don't think the perfect girl is going to walk up to and show herself to you. You have to talk to people and see if they have the same interests as you. But if there's no one in your life currently that you feel you don't have a connection to, then it's understandable why you don't want to be a relationship.

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    • MmmHmm
      11 years ago

      Thanks for your response! I definitely do put myself out there and talk to people. I have more friends that are girls than I do friends that are guys. I just don't want to force anything, but it seems like now that I'm feeling pressured, I almost make myself have thoughts like that about some girls. I don't think I actually like them that way. And I also don't want a relationship in my life right now.

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      • Anime7
        11 years ago

        If you're not interested in a relationship, then I suggest keeping your head on your future and what you want to do with your life. I'm sure that eventually you'll meet a wonderful girl.

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