Is it normal that i am feeling lonley and isolated?

69% Normal
23 Comments

Is it Normal? I have lots of friends and I cry all the time. They are all not close but there if I need them. I moved out of state with my husband to start a new life in the country. I talk to my only son every 3 weeks or so on the phone. The man I am with is not his father. His dad died in 1992. I have been with my new husband 20 years. My Son is very cold to me and closer to my husband. His girlfriend cannot stand to talk to me more than 5 minutes. I am an only child of alcoholic parents. Some people say that I am a Martyr or they don't understand or know "How to take me". I try to be nice to everyone and I am also honest. I just want to be happy and live my life to the fullest. I have friends I talk to all the time on the phone. My husband is a very personable guy and enjoys to talk to people, but we never have any company. I lost me job because one of my coworkers hated me so much she punched me. We both got fired. Oh she was 24 and I am 55 years old. What is wrong with me. Please be honest. I need to know what to do to feel like I am worth something to my Son and his girlfriend. I sometimes feel so isolated. Oh did I mention my husband is loving but can be controlling. I am not poor, but my husband is frugal.

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 36 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    I'll try to be as gentle as I can with this but:If you have a lot of people of varying ages and from different parts of your life that doesn't seem to like you you are doing "something" to trigger them.

    I'm NOT saying that you are a bad person but some people are naturally a bit more difficult to stand. I'm one of those people, either you like me or you hate me and It's really easy for me to make enemies unless I try to filter what I say and do.

    As others have said, talk to your son about it. Hopefully he has the guts to be honest and open about the issue. You might not see a problem but I bet there is one. Even if that issue might just be his wife not liking you ...

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  • Tommythecat.
    10 years ago

    You can feel lonely no matter how many people you know. But I can tell you that isolation is not good for you. It fucked me up really badly, it messed with my head and I began to detach from reality and see everyone as an enemy. It isnt as extreme for you I would think but all I can say is isolation in excess = bad.

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    • mar2mar2
      10 years ago

      That's how I'm getting. I don't even want to go anywhere. I just stay home and cry…

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      • Tommythecat.
        10 years ago

        Well you have to break that cycle somehow, If you're trying to be nice and they won't accept it I'd focus more on being happy as yourself instead of looking to them for approval. I guess that would be hard as it's your son being cold to you, I can't really help you there that's obviously a very personal issue. You know, I have no friends and it does get me down at times even though it's my fault for not being a friend to people to begin with. But I just try to be content with myself as best I can and hope that my going out and making more effort will pay off in meeting kind people.

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    Honestly it's alright to feel isolated and lonely. When it comes to repairing the relationship with your son, have you tried talking to him about how you feel? I mean try to see if you can set up a time when you guys could meet. Tell him that you feel distant from him and that's not what you want, but you can't make it about you, you have to let him speak. I guess listen to what he says. Honestly I can come off as cold to my mom, but that's because I don't believe that she really understands the type of person she is and how she treats others. I still try to be around her though. But I think you should try to see yourself from your son's perspective. I'm not calling you a bad mother or anything, you sound like you try to be a good parent and that's all a child could really ask from his caretaker. As for his gf, I guess do the same.

    You're probably a good person, but like I said people can come off in certain ways that they don't mean to. I can be a complete asshole, but I try so hard not to. But people probably won't know that so my actions will still be seen as that of a douchebag. Just try to get some communication done. I hope the best for you and I'm truly sorry to hear that you're in this position.

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    • mar2mar2
      10 years ago

      Thanks

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Do you ever offer unsolicited advice or opinions? A lot of people don't care for that sort of thing to put it mildly.

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    • mar2mar2
      10 years ago

      I try too hard sometimes, so I do try to help and of course that means my opinion.

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        Not necessarily; a lot of people aren't interested in hearing opinions, advice and or recieving help if they didn't ask for it directly. I've found in my life experience that it's best to wait until someone asks for that sort of thing.

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  • youareaghost
    10 years ago

    Maybe you are a martyr. Maybe you should take responsibility for yourself and your life.

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    • mar2mar2
      10 years ago

      I try to take responsibility for all my actions. I am just that person that things happen to. I could go on and on,but that is what makes me sound like a martyr. I just want to be happy and have people in my life.

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      • youareaghost
        10 years ago

        "I am just that person that things happen to"? Really? You don't sound very self-aware.

        You should consider buying and reading "Chakras and Their Archetypes: Uniting Energy Awareness and Spiritual Growth" by Ambika Wauters

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Holy Guacamole! Why did that chick punch you?

    Somehow I feel like there's more to this whole mess than you've said in your post. Would you ever consider going to an Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families twelve step meeting? <a class="ui-link" href="http://www.adultchildren.org/" rel="nofollow">http://www.adultchildren.org/</a>

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    • mar2mar2
      10 years ago

      Because I threw something at her to catch and she missed. It was a set of keys.

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        Hmm... when she missed where did the keys land?

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        • mar2mar2
          10 years ago

          Her face of course.

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          • RoseIsabella
            10 years ago

            Well, what did you expect? I guess she could have not punched you and called the cops and pressed assault charges against you instead. But seriously, why would you throw keys in her face? You're old enough to be her mother.

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  • mar2mar2
    10 years ago

    No

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  • getinherebro
    10 years ago

    ten bucks says your dry...know a few just like you...my grandma is the same way...cant stand her fucking ass....love my grandpa...cant wait for her to die so i can go hang out with him without her around....start drinking...grow a personality even if its negative...and get out and be part of the world...

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