Is it normal that i am confused about my boyfriend's traumatic past?
I have been in a relationship with this guy for over a year. I always felt like he was "too good" to be real... but he genuinely is. He is extremely kind with everyone, he never says anything bad about anyone and always tries to help people. He is also quite tolerant and always tries to see the good side of everything. And well, he is quite skillful and helpful as well, he cooks great and he is the kind of person that just knows how to do everything.
The thing is that, recently, I have been connecting the dots about his past. We are very sincere with each other, but we never really talked about our past. Personally, I don't like to talk about those things anyway. He sometimes reveals a few bits of it, but he never seemed to be too attached or traumatized by his experiences. It surprises with how much indifference he told me things like: "well, I was bullied when I was little", "oh, my friend killed himself when we were little", "I don't have a good relationship with my parents". I always tried to ask more when he said those things, but he just belittled those experiences and really seemed not to care.
But a few weeks ago I met his sister, and it surprised me that the first thing that she said to me when we were alone was: "If he ever does something weird or something that scares you, just call me, okay?". I inquired about that later and she told me many things.
Well, it turns out that my boyfriend had a terrible childhood. His parents were abusive towards him for no reason and hit him periodically. He was bullied a lot (mostly because he was little and nerdy) and he had to go to the hospital a few times. He never had many friends, and one of the few was the one that killed himself. He developed "schizoaffective disorder", and had to undergo treatment for a long time (his sister payed for this). And well, he also had to work since he was 16, because his parents basically kicked him out of the house.
Suddenly, my own problems just seem too little. Now, I just can't look at him in the same way anymore. I feel so sorry for him. He always shows such a cute and boyish smile, that I just find it so hard to believe that he had to endure so much. And the problem is that I don't know how to act around him anymore. He has been telling me that I have been acting weird lately... and I had indeed. I guess I am just being awkwardly nice and evasive now. I don't know if I should talk to him about those things that I know now or if I should just move on and pretend that I don't know. I guess he would prefer the later, but I am not sure if it is the right thing.
So, what do you think people?