Is it normal that i am beyond bored with life?
I wanna start by saying that I have always been a depressed/bored child, and as a result; a destructive, rebellious, and generally angry child(not to say I haven't had many *moments* of fun/temporary happiness). I have never understood the excitability, happiness, or hopefulness that I have seen in my life. EVER. Not even when I was a child.
But I am now 21, and going to college/ 'getting my shit together'. These are suppose to be the fun years; but no matter how many friends I make, A's I make, beers I drink, or how much crazy shit I get into; it just all seems so familiarly boring and shallow. My main question is prompted by the fact that I did coke tonight with friends at a bar (not for the first time).Am not that high now either. I generally feel less bored than my default-self when I do any drugs (*am not a drug addict), but tonight I have a painful boredom that brings to life my lifelong struggle with overall emptiness. Not necessarily depression, but EXTREME boredom. **To be clear again, I have done many "exciting" things (as a child and adult), I have parasailed, skydived, rollercoasters, (enter illegal activity here), and other normal "excitable" things like that. However, immediately after it has ended; I feel a certain emptiness that is all too familiar. I'm wondering if anyone else feels the same feeling .Or at least if someone can tell me what this painful and chronic boredom I am feeling is a result of.