Is it normal that i am 25, but my parents don't treat me as an adult?

34% Normal
17 Comments

Even when I was little I enjoyed studying, reading or just doing quiet and calm stuff. I was always too serious for my age and since I was 15 I became quite self suficient and never allowed people to treat me like a small kid anymore. I have been living alone and working since I was 18. I payed for my university myself and now I have a relatively good job. I am thinking about settling down with someone soon as well and even starting a family.

The problem is that I feel like I failed with my parents. I can't have a mature, grown up relationship with them. Every single conversation is just pointless small talk with them. I cannot discuss my dreams, ambitions or plans for future with them. My parents still refer to me as "their little baby", even though I have told them thousands of times to stop doing that. And whenever I tell them that I want to travel more or find a job in another city, they always say that I am a "bad kid" and that I am not supposed to be away from them. They don't want me to work or to date anyone either. They call me and send me messages every single day, but they never have anything to say.... except this: "Stop being mean and come to live with us".

I guess it is normal for parents to be overly protective... but this just feels so awful. I don't hate my parents or anything, but I am becoming old already and I really wished that they could get over this phase.

So, are my parents normal?

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 99 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • SkullsNRoses
    10 years ago | pl

    I disagree with thisissomuchfun, it's normal for parents to still see you as 'they're baby' even when you're a fully grown adult, this will never change, but making you feel guilty for following your ambitions is too far and not cute.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      I thought the amount of love they show (even if it's at inappropriate levels) was cute because my own parents are so horrible and uncaring that we're estranged. And I do believe I pointed out it would be suffocating for the OP to be in that situation. :)

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  • youareaghost
    10 years ago

    They gave you life.

    Understand this.

    They kept you alive.

    Understand this.

    You are their little baby. You will always be their little baby. That is a wonderful thing.

    You are independent now and do not need them for survival, but don't let their resistance to this anger you.

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  • Holzman_67
    10 years ago

    This is one of those rare occasions where its the parents who need to grow up

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  • kelili
    10 years ago

    Maybe you've grown up too quick and your parents would have loved to enjoy a kid a bit longer.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    It's YOUR life and IMO you should live it as you choose and your parents need to understand your feelings.
    If it was me, I would move away and change my phone number. I'd buy a "burner" phone to call them on and keep in touch on my own schedule. Since they obviously won't hear what you have to say on a daily basis, perhaps less communication will yield better listening on their part.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Awwwww, I know that you probably feel suffocated by them, but I sure wish I had parents like yours, they sound so cute.

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  • Shoefish
    10 years ago

    That's creepy.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I'm probably going to kill myself someday to end the visions of my friends dying.

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  • Sinep
    10 years ago

    Do you have any brothers and sisters?
    If not then they just want you to take care of them and that's your duty now that you've grown up.. Your mother gave you birth, your father worked for you and your family and they both worked hard to raise you to who you are right now..

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  • Razaa
    10 years ago

    Their just lonley awe its so sad.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    Have you told them how you feel?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Every day.

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      • dom180
        10 years ago

        :( They don't take you seriously - they probably just find it cute and react by suffocating you even more. Don't let them make you feel guilty for living your life, and don't think you can't go against them if you want.

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  • DiamondGirl
    10 years ago

    My brother is almost 40 and my Mom treat's him like a baby. It's just insane!

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Where are ya'll from?

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I think their being a little over-dramatic. It must be really annoying to have parents like that - just talk to them and repeat as many times as you can. I've had lots of high school teachers treat all their students like 10 year olds, but I think that's just because we were acting like it.

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