Is it normal that i always defend people i don't really like?

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2 Comments

I will give one of the most complete examples... I have one old "friend" that is an asshole with me... like... a super douchebag. He mistreats me constantly, tries to humilliate and always tries to start and argument with me. He doesn't have much patience either, he always snaps at me for the littliest things.

My other friends never realized how much of an asshole this guy was... However, lately, they have started knowing him better, and they are starting to hate him.

The thing is that... I feel so sorry for him, that I keep defending him and trying to make my other friends to like him. I don't know why I do it... it is simply an impulse. In some weird way, I feel like I don't want him to be left alone.

I have done similar things many times in my life. I usually befriend the most hated person in any circle, even if I don't like them. I really don't know why I do all this....

What do you think about it?

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56% Normal
Based on 25 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Mando
    11 years ago

    You are pretty loyal and willing to overlook his flaws. That is admirable. But loyalty has limits - he has to take responsibility for himself and his relationships with others, like your friends. His bad behaviour is alienating him - as was inevitable. You can't force him on other friends or you'll just end up alienated too. So be loyal, but don't be stupid - you needn't sleep in the bed he makes.

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  • ProseAthlete
    11 years ago

    You sound like someone who often plays the role of peacemaker in an argument. You're too kind-hearted to want even a jerk to feel ostracized, so you try to balance the scales and look at his good points.

    It's not a bad trait to have, but there are limits to saving someone's reputation when he's a constant douche-nozzle. In this case, I think you might be better off with friends who appreciate your kindness, empathy and willingness to see people's good sides.

    Some people don't really have good sides. This guy sounds like one of them.

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