Is it normal that i always cry at night?

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21 Comments

Hello everyone. I'm a girl, 17yrs old. I'm from Philippines. (Sorry If I couldn't speak English fluently) :)

I am a simple person yet I have so many secrets and regrets inside. I was born in Japan but my parents are both Filipino. & I have one sister. We're living happily in every situation of our life.. but one day, my father got sick (Cancer in Lungs) when I was 9. The doctor said to us that we need to bring back my father to Philippines & to continue his medication and everything.. but when we got back, my father died after few months.

Well, this is the problem. My mother and my father weren't married. So I have no right to take his opulence or anything he owns. After my father gone, we used to live in my Aunt Medy's house and she treated us like a maid so that she could provide us shelter, food, and my education.

Years passed, until I became 16 year-old, one of my father's sister took me to dwell in her house to support my education because she has a faith on me that I could finish my studies and to help my mother and sister when I've got my job. My mother was remarried now and my sister is with her in our province.

Every night, when I'm thinking of my pasts about my family when we were living in Japan, I always cry with my pillow. I always think of everything I couldn't bring it back - Family bonding, having fun with my parents, playing with my sister, shopping, peers, and everything. As of now, I can't afford anything because I have no money and I am just dwelling at my aunt's house. All I have to do is to study and to accomplish my promise to my father that I would graduate. I really miss my father and my family. I know it sounds complicated - but this is how I feel. I wish I could be a little girl and never grow up again.. :(

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75% Normal
Based on 67 votes (50 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • BlackDays
    11 years ago

    I'm sorry :( I know its easier said than done, but you have to try not to dwell on the past. You can't change it. Your just going to make yourself more and more miserable and that will have an effect on everything else in your life. Keep studying and do your best to graduate. Make it a goal to do the best you can at everything and it should pay off in the long run. You'll be able to see your family again some day, I hope. You have so many years ahead of you, plenty of time to heal and make a happy life for yourself. Good luck :)

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    • AvrilLavigne
      11 years ago

      Thanks for your heart-touching comment. I really really appreciate it! You made me cry so much. I found myself again for my own good. Godbless you!

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    • Captain_Kegstand
      11 years ago

      :) Well said

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  • lolol555
    11 years ago

    For the situation you're in, I'd say it's normal. At night we don't have the daily visual distractions and all we can do before we sleep is think. You've had a hard time and at night all those harsh memories can flood back very vividly.

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    • AvrilLavigne
      11 years ago

      Yeah you got me. :| Thanks for your comment and time! :)

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  • Mindfulmama
    8 years ago

    I used to feel thst way even in my 20's and sometimes still do at 34 lol. Hang in there girl...you can do this and it will get easier! Blessings on your journey ♡

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    • AvrilLavigne
      8 years ago

      Thank you miss! <3

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Your user name is strange given who you are.

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  • joybird
    11 years ago

    So many of us have sad childhoods that we try to put behind us. Keep making your future plans and study as much as possible, not only will this keep your mind busy but you will make your parents proud of you :o)

    Even reading your short post, I believe that you will achieve your ambitions and you are a lot stronger than you know.

    The very best of luck.

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    • AvrilLavigne
      11 years ago

      Thanks, Miss! :) I really really appreciate this comment and you inspired me so much. :) I'll keep your advice in my mind and I'll turn over a new leaf and hope to do my best of it :)Godbless!

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  • I_hope_i_am_normal
    11 years ago

    Honey, not only your are natural you are also human. All i have to say is never give up, try to be perfect at everything and to prove to your whole family (the good members and the bad ones) that even if you lived a hard life, you are a fighter and nothing can defeat you.
    ps: you are a real fighter because you survived all the bad things, as for the crying it will vanish when you reach the high levels of perfection :) i'll pray for you just never give up

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    • AvrilLavigne
      11 years ago

      I'm currently crying for this heart-touching comment of yours :) Thanks very much for your precious time to read my story. I reall appreciate it! Godbless :))

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      • I_hope_i_am_normal
        11 years ago

        No problem :) i'm here for you dear if you need anything i'm ready to help you, as i told you never stop and work as hard as you can to fulfill your goals :) wish you all the best

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    sad story of your past but your future looks bright, good luck with your studies and try to be brave :)
    ps; your dad would be proud

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    • AvrilLavigne
      11 years ago

      Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Thanks very much for your time to read my story. I really appreciate it! Godbless :)

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  • sassafrassi
    11 years ago

    It's normal. I always use to tell myself it will not be like this forever, and it does get better. :)

    I've been meaning to learn Filipino but I always put it off. XD You reminded me that I really want to learn it.

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  • ygrowup
    11 years ago

    I would cry also, but your special, and all you have been threw will even make you more special in your near future! Your strong and things will change for you very soon, make the best of it! But never forget your past, if I could be a knight in shinning armor and save you I would, but I can't, so till that knight arrives for you, hang in there!

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    • AvrilLavigne
      11 years ago

      Thanks very much for this inspiring comment. :) Godbless you! Yes, I'll keep your advice in my mind. <3

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      • ygrowup
        11 years ago

        I will keep you in my prayers! And anytime you need for someone to just listen to you unload some of your thoughts and frustations, just drop me a line at [email protected]. Hope things improve soon for you.

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  • cantdoit
    11 years ago

    I would cry tears of joy just from being Japanese...

    You should just do what I do, create a story in your head and follow along. I always picture myself as Link, saving a kingdom, moving one step closer every day. :P

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    • AvrilLavigne
      11 years ago

      Yeah! Hahaha! Thanks for your time to read my story. I really appreciate your comment. :)

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