Is it normal that i acted like this?

Around the time I was 8 I stopped crying. Before my 8th birthday I would always cry about everything and my sisters would always call me names and other basic stuff. After my 8th birthday things got bad. We moved and such and everything was somewhat fine... I was a computer addict so I was online although having older sisters caused me to know a LOT of things the at the time 10 year old me shouldn't have known. (like lesbian stuff, sex, guys, drugs, how to deal/sell drugs, ect) Also with my older sister what lived with me she would constantly make fun of me and beat me up and call me an emo cry baby when she would hit me really hard to the point i was truing black and blue. I started cutting around that age in 5th threw 10th grade (I know I know, i was stupid ect) but in 6th grade i had a boyfriend that was 3 years older than me (yes i know i was VERY stupid) He convinced me to have sex with him at the age of 12 (again i know i'm a fuck up) and things got worse... He started to beat me and I stayed with him and for about a year i had like no emotion... I found out my grandmother died that year and I didn't even cry i was just like "kay.", ect and I ended up developing a liking to pain and surprises sexually... I would get turned on by thinking about rape and tieing people up and all that, i remember once i tied up my friend and kidnapped her it was interesting and I was smiling the whole day, anyways. Fast forward to age 15 and I was thinking about tieing people up and having sex like that and teasing them, watching porn and all that other stuff and sexting random people ect ect, i knew a lot about how to kill people and hide a body, lots of people found me scary and I had social problems so i didn't have a lot of friends. I would think about the meaning of life rather than what shoes i should wear to school and I would constantly think about killing myself and being depressed about things. Also at the age of 13 i let out a sexual video of myself over the internet and I would constantly think I was a slut and a whore ect. But bottom line is, i knew too much as a child and now I'm just scared of a lot of tings but at the same time I don't wanna be scared because my mind seance i was 10 would tell me "Being scared is the governments way of keeping you in line." just is is normal I acted like this? Is it normal at such a young age to act like that? (photo is of something i made on the computer when i was 15)