Is it normal that i absolutely hate my gfs kids?

This relationship may not be for you.

If you date someone with kids, they become your burden too. You can either break up with her, or deal with them.

If you love your girlfriend, you need to learn to love her children.

Even if you love your girlfriend but you can't like her children, it's probably not going to work out in the long fun. Her children are part of the package whether you like it or not. I can see your point of view about why you wouldn't like them if they're disrespectful to you. I am not judging you at all. It's just that I grew up with a single mother, and I watched her put my sister and me first a lot of the time. If the boyfriend wasn't happy with us (and my sister and I weren't brats, my mother actually taught us to be respectful) then it usually didn't end well. The problem I think those guys had was that my mother did put us first before them, and I think they hated it.

From the sounds of it, you've already told her your feelings and she hasn't listened. It doesn't have to be physical discipline to make them respectful. At twelve I wouldn't say it's a good idea anyway. That will just make her humiliated and angry and act out more I imagine. Although at twelve, a lot of kids feel they are grown even though they are no where close.

If you're already unhappy now with everything it's going to get worse. Eventually you are going to grow to resent your girlfriend even if you don't now. You said you don't have much of a sex life, and you don't care anymore and you dread going home. It's a hard decision you're going to have make but this is a situation where I think you need to out your needs first.

I've tried everything from praying about it to talking to each child individually but nothing has changed. It's gotten to the point I dred going home to the mad house. I love my girlfriend very much but I'm very unhappy at this point. Our sex life has gone down the drain to the point I don't care for it anymore. I'm not a dr or anything but I'm pretty sure the daughter has adhd. The daughter thinks she is grown and usually has a big outburst after being told to do something. She speaks back to her mother with nothing but disrespect which really srives me up the wall. My gf is against physically disciplining her children an I swear that's what these kids need!!

Those kids sound out of control. Family counseling might help.

First you need to realize that her kids need to come first. If you don't like it, you are in the wrong situation.

Second, no little girl should weigh 220 lbs. This sounds like a problem with the mothers parenting.

You shouldn't be blaming the kids. Your girlfriend needs to take some parenting classes.

It sounds like they lack structure.