Is it normal that he thinks i don't try hard enough

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10 Comments

I have been out of work for close to a year and just recently been applying for jobs online.I lost my last job when my sister was in the hospital.She almost died and now has some brain damage.It took me a year to handle what happened.So now I am in the process of trying to get a job.My boyfriend and I live together.He has been my provider.Before this all happen I provided for him to make it through school till he got his job.So since I haven't been working I do all house duties and I have been looking online because I am finding jobs don't pass out apps.He says I am not trying hard enough and I am showing him I don't want a job when it is the complete opposite.Do you find this normal?

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30% Normal
Based on 37 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    He is being an idiot. He is definetly in the wrong here. You should talk tohim about it.

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      I agree.

      He's not your jailer and you need to remind him exactly how long you 'kept' him.

      However, if you want to find a job for yourself, it's always easier to get one when you are in one coz it shows employers that you are at least willing to work. So if I were you, I would take a job in McDs or KFC, or at least do some baby sitting or tutoring etc.

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  • Infxmous
    12 years ago

    I agree with the person above. Hes stressed about being the only provider right now and has probably forgot what it was like when the tables were turned. My question to you is, can he see your efforts? I mean, in a visual, tangiable way? If you only tell him about what youre doing but he doesnt actually SEE you applying to jobs with his own eyes then its just as good as you not doing anything. For example i can be doing my homework all day long and just before my mom comes home ill start to watch tv. When my mom comes home and sees me shes just going to assume ive been watchin tv all day, regardless of what i tell her. So why dont you do whatever else needs to be done during the day and start the internet job hunt just before he gets home? That way when he gets home he can see youre on task. Also, you can show him exacty what youre doing and that youre actually applying. Also, if internet doesnt help you find a job you may want to try some other sources, like maybe friends can help you or theres an employment center in your city or you can go in-person to where you want to apply. It shows initiative and if they like your demeanor youre more likely to get an interview. Even if theres no application in-store you should always introduce yourself to someone with authority and put yourself on his radar. Worse comes to worst you might have to settle for a job below your skills while you look for something else, that way you have money coming in, help your relationship, and retain personal skills that will make it easier for you to get hired (ive been on leave 2 months and im utterly terrified of going back to work. Not to mention that the longer youre off work, the less eligible you become to employers eho wonder what youve been doing or why no one wants to hire you).

    So anyways good luck i hope that was helpful :)

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    • Captain_Kegstand
      12 years ago

      I was going to leave a post but infxmous said pretty much exactly what I was going to. I'm in the same situation, I provide and my fiance has been unemployed for some time now. This is good advice.

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    • Ono
      12 years ago

      This.

      The longer you go without a job, the harder it will be to get one. If he doesn't see you at least applying and going for interviews then from his perspective I can see why he's getting frustrated. When you're rejected from a job, it can be helpful to ask them why.

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  • lc1988
    12 years ago

    You really aren't trying hard enough. Applying online isn't enough nowadays. Rather than relying on applications, you need to make a resume, dress nice, and hand them out to places you are interested in working for. Even to the ones you have already filled out an online application for. This will take you very far.

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    • sac66064
      12 years ago

      I don't really agree with this. I did exactly that for four months and in most cases they wouldn't even accept the resume unless the senior manager was there. And they did absolutely nothing to help me get a job. I can't speak for everyone but this didn't work for me.

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      • lc1988
        12 years ago

        You need to go back when the manager is there. How can they "help" you get a job when the other employees have nothing to do with hiring?

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  • Anime7
    12 years ago

    I think that it's normal, though wrong of your boyfriend. It's possible that the burdens of being a provider have gotten to him. I think he knows that you have been trying but is frustrated that you have not gotten a job yet.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      12 years ago

      This.

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