Is it normal that being around my boyfriend makes me feel bad?

Whenever I hang out with my boyfriend lately, I leave feeling pretty bad. He doesn't outwardly put me down and he's not physically abusive. He just ignores me for long periods of time to play on his phone and does a lot of stuff that bothers me. For example:

I was a crying mess after my grandpa died. When I got back from a stressful and sad week of visiting family and helping grandma sort everything out, he mostly just ignored me all day while I felt bad. Didn't say anything to try and help, and didn't give me a hug until I finally asked. Then he let go after a while and told me to "put (my) big girl panties on."

I needed help buying cat litter because I don't have a car and can't carry something that heavy all the way back from Petco. So, I told him I would buy him beer and make him a taco in exchange for the help. Well, he did help me- and complained the whole time. He said, "I don't think I would be in such a bad mood if I didn't have to run that errand with you" and "the problem with having a car is that people think they can just bum rides off you." Then he told me he didn't want the beer, because he is uncomfortable taking anything from me.

We were talking on his bed one night. He was under the covers. Suddenly he says "I'll tell you a secret... I'm naked." Not in a super jokey way either. So even though it was weird, I just decided to go with it. We got until my clothes were off and he was pretty ****. Then he suddenly turned over and stopped. I asked him why, and he started to put his clothes back on and said, "I don't like the way you've been lately."

Stuff like this. Every time we hang out. He is also rarely affectionate.

Is this normal relationship stuff?

Voting Results
10% Normal
Based on 48 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • baby_

    No decent human being would tell someone to, essentially, "grow up" after losing a loved one. This guy has emotional problems and clearly doesn't relate to or care about yours.

    Leave him until he can sort out his problems. Don't hurt yourself further by being with someone that makes you feel like crap.

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  • kittykat9930

    Confront him about it because he's being very immature! You're doing absolutely nothing wrong and you shouldn't have to put up with his BS! If he doesn't start changing then you should start leaving cause he sounds very insensitive!

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  • imadragon

    It seems like there is something going on with him, if he doesn't normally act like this. Maybe he is depressed, but he blames other people for it. He did say he didn't like the way you had been lately, and all I can guess you had done that was different was a reaction to his behaviour. You really should talk to him about this, and tell him how his behaviour makes you feel, because that's something he should care about. And if you do suspect that he is depressed, let him know you are worried about him, but try to not make him feel attacked.

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  • XCoD420X

    he might be depressed i act differently when my depression starts affecting me i get less affectionate and i just stop talking but i man up and if my gf wants to do things i suck it up and do them and don't just stop doing things halfway but if its not how he normally acts ask if everythings okay and that you are worried, if i was depressed again that's exactly what i would want my gf to ask, tho i wouldn't tell her what was wrong most likely he wont either but its worth a shot

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  • ccjigsaw

    Sounds like my asshole... oops I meant boyfriend. He treats me more like a friend than a girlfriend... actually worse than a friend. I treat my friends better than he treats me. I'm currently trying a "Lets try being friends for a week" thing. We're not broken up, just not doing anything sexual or bf/gf like together. It sounds kind of like opposite of what I want, but I gave him the "If you want your boyfriend status back, start showing me you can be a good boyfriend" shfeal. So far it's made him a bigger jerk..hoping he'll miss it after a few days and be afraid of losing me. Anywho, I totally feel your pain. I'd tell you to dump him, but I'd be a hypocrite if I said that.

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    • curiouskate101

      I hate girls who stay in relationships like this and complain about it. Your the one dealing with it. People only treat you the way you allow them to. Leave the jerk

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  • (s)aint

    Dump his ass and find someone better :CC

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