Is it normal that although i am miserable in my relationship i stay?

37% Normal
9 Comments

I have been with my lover for 4 years. We met in a night club and I moved in with her after a few months. The relationship started out fairly normal; we would go out to eat, to the movies and just enjoy being around one another. I guess the problems started when I would want to hang out with friends and she would always want to tag along. She never wants to be separated from me. Then I started a new job and a coworker and myself became really good friends. We would flirt but I always looked at it as being innocent. She went through my phone and found some messages and went completely off saying that I was having an emotional affair. I accepted the fact that she could not handle my friendship so I ended it. That happened 2 years ago and still every argument we have that seems to come up. She is says the most hurtful things to me that just leaves me in tears then she acts like nothing happened a few hours later. She will not let me out of her sight and I feel so trapped. I want to leave her but I have a 7 year old that absolutely adores her. I asked her to go to counseling so that she could work on some of her issues but she thinks she has it together. I always tell her that I am miserable and she needs to change but nothing changes. I don't know why I stay in this relationship. I feel like an idiot.

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 30 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Never date people you meet in nightclubs. they're usually not right in the head.

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  • rin
    12 years ago

    From what I've seen I think it's hard for a lot of people to leave a relationship. I hate when people bring up the past to use it against you. If they decided to forgive you then it is in the past, where it should be left. If she is not willing to work on the relationship you have to let her go. Even if your daughter likes her, she will get over it. Better for her not to see you two fight and her dad be unhappy than your daughter hate you for a little bit because you dumped her. What kind of example would she be setting for your daughter about relationships?

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  • fralanasko
    12 years ago

    That sucks. <BR>You should get out of there... Don't let her use your kid against you to make you stay. Find help for you and your kid if he/she has trouble adjusting after the split. Surely your kid would want you to be happy and would care more in the longrun about having a happy dad VS having this woman in his life.<BR>Also, maybe next time don't move in so quickly... not that I needed to say that too you, it's probably obvious.

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  • bogsidebunny
    12 years ago

    Basically, you're insecure. You need the love and attention, no matter how dysfunctional it is. That's why many women remain with their abusive male partners. AND, defend those partners when the legal system tries ti intervene.

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  • devongirl
    12 years ago

    i am in the same situation as you remember your not alone do whatever yo think will make you child happy! they are the most important, followed by yourself!

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  • mahe
    12 years ago

    Keeping in mind i'm only getting one side of the story here, i would say, you should respect the time you're given here on earth and not waste it on being miserable. As for your child, i'm sure he'd rather see you happy. Best of luck to you :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    yikes sounds like my mother..If I were you I'd run so far away that she'd never be able to find me!! If she acts like that to you one day she'll start putting it toward your child trust me she's just paranoid and doesnt have the abillity to trust anyone. Don't waist your time with a person like that she clearly puts her feelings before others and the only reason you may be there is because you pitty her. Run Run RUN! you and your child disevers better.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    You need to get out and concentrate on being a good parent.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    First things first, grab between your legs and see if your dick is still there because it may have fallen off and that is why you are acting like such a whiny pussy, if it is still there then grab your dick, man up and stop being such a bitch to this woman.

    She needs to know her place and her place is in the kitchen, cooking dinner and when that is done making sure the house is cleaned and your work shirts are laundered and ironed.

    If your dick is not there then I dont know what to tell you. Check around the house she may have removed it when you were sleeping and she is keeping it as a souvenir.

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