Is it normal that after a year i want to know where i stand with him?
My boyfriend of more than a year really is wonderful. I love him more than any other guy I've dated, and I'm a serial, long-term relationship-kinda girl, so I've been in love before. But this weekend I found myself so mad at him over something really, really small and I couldn't make sense of why I felt like that. I took a moment today and think I've figured it out, and i think it is because I still can't get him to candidly talk about us.
He is the quiet type, sweet but quiet. When I ask him a question and he feels like he's not giving me the right answer, it gets a lot worse. He clams up. For example, the fight this weekend started after I took him to his mother's house because his car broke down and they were going to go look for a new one together on his day off. She lives an hour away from us but I really don't mind the drive. When I offered to come get him after work (because he was going to take a bus the next morning), he started clamming up as usual. He blamed work, which is true for him. He has a lot of deadlines coming up this week. But I said I would come get him and if he would drop me off at my place, he could borrow my car to take to a coffee shop (his usual practice) as long as he returned it later that night. Nope, he said leaving his mom's place that night would interrupt the work flow too much. That sounds ridiculous to me...?
I think I got so upset about this because he has a pattern of being the one to hold back, and I feel like I saw it again with him this weekend. I open up about everything, and yet he never prompts similar discussions. I feel like I'm too available to him and he takes it for granted. He won't even talk about three to six months from now very openly. I've hedged the subject before, with a lot of gut-wrenching fear on my part, but he answers all my questions the same way he answered this weekend about not wanting to spend time with me. He's holding back because he's giving what he feels is the wrong answer.
This weekend it's come to a head and I'm realizing I just want to have an honest discussion about where I fit into his future, if at all. It doesn't need to be marriage (even if that's what I ultimately want), it just needs to be a straight answer. Despite getting to a point where we're assuming we'll be spending weekends together, constantly inviting me over to his mother's house to spend time with his family and generally being a very loving boyfriend, he seems so reluctant to ever talk about what he wants for us. Is it normal to want to confront him on this? Or is it dangerous behavior?