Is it normal that after 13 years i'm still mourning

82% Normal
5 Comments

My brother passed away in the world trade center 13 years ago on thursday later on this week.. I was 14 when he passed away and honestly he was like my father emotionally, physically and mentally. He was there every single day and never let me down in our relationship. I think that I'm extremely more sensative than others when it comes to this. He wasn't my Biological brother but my brother in law.. basically when my sister got serious with him about 7 years before he passed he became part of the family and was there for everything. He was more the head of the house hold than my biological father was. My mother basically took him in as her own and he was there every single day. All my good memories were with him and I feel into a deep depression after. I guess I'm doing way better than before but around this time of year I become a child again. I can't help it but think about it all the time and I need to know if this is normal. I go to counseling every week also and it has helped immensly but I feel like it's such a slow process. Please let me know.

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82% Normal
Based on 22 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • CoraCook
    9 years ago

    I'm so sorry for you loss. Sometimes there are posts here in which I don't have much to say except that I hope you are able to cope better with it every day. Maybe changing the perspective could be helpful, be thankful for the seven years he was part of your lives and treasure the moments you shared and memories you created.

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  • CHELI143
    9 years ago

    I didn't erase any comments. I've read only one! All commentary is needed here. Especially this week. Thanks.

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  • -_-
    9 years ago

    What? Why was my comment deleted? I thought it was comforting to share a similar story/give you suggestions on how to feel better. I guess my advice isn't needed here. :(

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  • clevelandashkenaziatheist
    9 years ago

    Having a trauma that has caused a negative impact on your life is normal. These sorts of emotional disturbances are extremely common in mourning. Trauma permanently changes people. There is no forgetting or going back to before. But there is a light. As time goes by and you get additional counseling, you will live your life increasingly fully. Reminiscing on the good times will become more of a boon than a burden. You're doing a good job moving on already. Just keep it up.

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  • -_-
    9 years ago

    It's normal. My friend's Aunt (she raised him) passed away 16 years ago and he still gets down around August of every year as she died in a car crash. He was actually in the car when she was severely injured and a few hours later, she was dead. So he can't help but remember it. It's usually the entire month of August because he had to go to the funeral and everything... I'm so sorry. Maybe you can do something positive to celebrate his life instead of his death during this time of year? Maybe you could do something or maybe volunteer somewhere on your off days. That could help you turn a negative into a positive and I'm sure he'd think that was great.

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