Is it normal that after 6 months of dating i can`t get laid?

61% Normal
30 Comments

I`m an 18 year old male and rather good looking. I`ve been dating my girlfriend for almost a half year now and I`m really trying to be as honest, caring and romantic as possible. I treat my girl right by making her candle light dinners and taking her a lot of places and always help her no matter what.
Problem is we make out a lot and do dry humping, but that`s about it. We haven`t had sex yet, although we`ve been dating for 6 months which makes me feel lame, because even my sister`s 15 year old friends got laid after dating for like a month.
I`m doing all my best and trying to be respectful, not to strong and give her time, but common`.... 6 months.
whenever I confront my girl she`s like "Oh yeah, let`s do it" but she never does anything afterwards to even slightly give me a chance to make that move. It seems she doesen`t care at all.
So I`m a 18 year old virgin which tends to bug me sometimes.
My friends and some girls told me to forget about her, but I like this girl A LOT, so I need a few more opinions.
Even when I masturbate I can`t stop thinking about it and feel, lame, guilty and disgusted by myself afterwards.
So may I ask you guys for your opinion? Is it normal?

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 285 votes (173 yes)
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Comments ( 30 )
  • DwayneHicks
    13 years ago

    Nice guys finish last....be more direct and go for it

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  • Ice
    13 years ago

    Have you guys done anything else besides dry humping? Like oral and stuff? Because if you haven't you might want to try that first.

    Also I'm confused by what you mean when you say she never gives you a chance.
    If you mean she doesn't initiate or take things further herself, then it's just up to you, if she doesn't say no then you are probably okay to just start moving things to the next step yourself, just move slowly and make it obvious what you're doing so she can say if she feels uncomfortable.

    If you mean that she seems to avoid ever being alone with you and ignores any attempts you make at taking things further then you should tell her that that's what it seems like to you and maybe organise a time to take things further, if she avoids this as well then you may have to consider that she simply feels to pressured to say no to you and actually isn't feeling ready, in which case you'll just have to wait.

    You have told her it's okay if she doesn't want to right? Because if she doesn't it's important you talk about why, because the reason might be something you can fix rather than just being that she's not ready.

    On the other hand, breaking up with someone because they wont sleep with you doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, if you are ready for sex and it is making you feel really bad about yourself that you are not getting any, but she isn't ready, then the decision is simply whether staying with her will make you feel worse about yourself than being without her will.

    Lastly, pressuring someone into sex DOES make you a bad person and also, if she ISN'T ready but she has sex with you anyway it can make her feel worthless, incredibly insecure and like you have ruined her, which is highly likely to turn her into an overly emotional, overly possessive, clingy, jealous monster girlfriend, and you don't want that. So BE CAREFUL. Be sure she knows it's okay if she doesn't want too.

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    • danyboy931
      13 years ago

      :D of course I have said she doesen`t have to and I`ve always left her totally enough space to always feel confident and to be completely able at any time and place to say "no, I don`t want to", but you know...... it`s like I`d talk to her ask her things, make suggestions and really set up a good mood always (not for having sex) but very often for just having dinner (i told her that, too) or to just watch a movie.... and she never responds to any of my actions... If I ask her, she answers very short or just doesen`t, If I make suggestions on how to spend a nice time together (not sex... just hanging out)... she never said "yeah, I`d like that" or "no, let`s do this instead" and this applied to almost everything we did together... so after 6,5 months I realized.... This girl has almost no fucking emotions (all my friends call her "the Ice Queen BTW, cuz of that)... and I`m far too different for this... So I was like "FUCK THAT" I`m done... I`m a free man and there`s lots more to discover out there :)
      But thank you all guys for your concern, thoughts and advice ...

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  • xxxbeautifullybrokenxxx
    13 years ago

    I feel bad cause you are doing everything right. WTF is wrong with this girl?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Bodies in motion stay in motion. Bodies at rest stay at rest.

    You will likely never have sex with this girl...ever.

    Move on or this is what you get.

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  • magie_06
    13 years ago

    wait, stop putting presure on her and talking about it with your friends, thats just embrassing for her.she a catch, shes not a slut.you should respect her for that.

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  • thecoldhardtruth
    10 years ago

    My first time was 6 months into a relationship. She might be insecure about her body or something? You have to take charge here and be more direct to get what you want because it seems like she's not going to/ or is waiting for you to make the first move.
    Cheers

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  • heeeeeeyyyy
    12 years ago

    Your situation is more normal than you might think. There are plenty of reasons a girl might be reluctant to put out. And I can't say for certain without actually knowing the girl. Some girls are careful about who they have sex with the first time. The rest say they are and then end up losing it in a one-night stand with some asshole who doesn't care about them. These type of girls are usually disillusioned with reality and think that any guy who wants to have sex with them wants to date them also.

    Most likely this girl is attracted to you and is waiting for you to make the first move. You need to progress things physically. If she stops you, you need to talk to her about it. After this, you should know whether or not she's worth waiting on.

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  • Noonesperfect
    13 years ago

    Suprise buttsex

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  • jczb
    13 years ago

    Are you sure she's really a woman. Maybe she doesn't want you to know she has a bigger D than you. Yikes

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  • Springering
    13 years ago

    Man up, stop pushing this girl all the time, all your doing is pressuring her, I never understand why you guys (by which I mean Americans) always seem push so hard, what is your obsession with talking about it to her can't you see your making her feel pressured and making the situation worse? I have an idea why don't you wait for her to bring it up? If you can't wait then do her a favour your not worth it. And before you say what do I know, I waited 2 years with my ex till she was ready, yeah it might be frustrating but really get over it there is more to life then just getting your leg over, as I said if you don't love her enough to be completely patient and wait without bringing it up or pushing her then don't be with her.

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    • heeeeeeyyyy
      12 years ago

      I never understood why people always seem to make outrageous generalizations about people from a country other than their own. And then assume that ANYONE behaving in accordance with said generalizations must be from said country. I'm from America, and I think you're an idiot because you just did exactly this.

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    • danyboy931
      13 years ago

      Haha... you`re right... I agree..... it`s really not that improtant... but I`m not American though.... I come from Latvia (a small country in nothern europe) :)

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  • lovessex
    13 years ago

    its not the norm these days but try and relax. You seem fine, just let things progress naturally. If yo CAN wait till youre married then kudos, if not no probs just follow your emotions.

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  • Musse
    13 years ago

    She's probably very afraid of losing you. She knows you're a virgin as she is and it might intimidate her if you have sex, because women learn that boys only want sex. What if you leave after that? She doesn't know the power of the pussy when it comes to young guys. For us guys we need to question ourselves and then the girl. Be upfront with her and make her feel good in her body. Tell her that you love everything about here but be honest. That's for the long-run.

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    • danyboy931
      13 years ago

      yeah right... I date her for 6 months, take care of her, commit myself to her and do everything with to just have sex with her and then leave her... is that what you`re saying? :D LOL

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      • heeeeeeyyyy
        12 years ago

        No, that's not what he's saying. But that could very well be what she's thinking. It sounds ridiculous to you, because it is. But to a young woman who doesn't quite "get" guys yet, it's an actual concern.

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  • iznormalish
    13 years ago

    Ok so... as a female I say that if she is a virgin and its been 6 months just be patient. If she isn't maybe something bad has happened in the past that makes it feel uncomfortable or scary. Its hard to tell you what is normal when I don't know you or the girl, but sounds like maybe she does mean it when she says yeah let's do it... but she's saying it mainly out of the fact that she feels pressured and wants to make u happy. If she is a good girl and you love her just be patient and let things flow. When she is ready she will let you know.

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  • guitarist6987876
    13 years ago

    It is very normal brother. I have been married for 8 years and I have had sex like 3 times in my life.

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    • catocato52028
      13 years ago

      wat...noway

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      • guitarist6987876
        13 years ago

        Yes way. Don't marry a prude. And no, no one wants to end up "there"!!!!

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    • danyboy931
      13 years ago

      Oh man..... I really don`t wanna end up there, bro :D

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    What is wrong with guys nowadays ? Since when did dating involve sex ? You should be caring honest and romantic because you want to because you like her, not because you want to get laid. SMH .

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    • heeeeeeyyyy
      12 years ago

      Nothing is wrong with guys. They behave in accordance with their biological programming just as girls do. GIRLS WANT SEX TOO. And they want the guys they want to have sex with to commit to them.

      Dating is ALL ABOUT sex. Sex is the REASON we date. If you disagree with me, you are either lying or stupid.

      And he clearly isn't being caring, honest, and romantic because he wants to get laid. In fact, if a guy wants to get laid, he's far better off doing none of those things and just moving on to the next girl if one doesn't put out right away.

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  • kat59
    13 years ago

    If you truly care about her you will wait for her to be ready. Is she a virgin? Because that could be what is stopping her. Just sit down with her and talk about it. Start by saying no pressure I just wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind. Girls have waited longer than 6 months to give it up. You are doing nice things it sounds like, but she may still need time to think about it. So give that to her if you care, or if you don't break it off. It's not fair to either of you to be frustrated all the time just about sex, because you can get that anywhere a girl you love and care about and who feels the same is not an everyday thing.

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  • kinganarkzie
    13 years ago

    O.K as the MAN you need to take the lead forget all the "I`m doing all my best and trying to be respectful, not to strong and give her time" crap. Because If she's saying "Oh yeah, let`s do it" that means she wants to do it aswell and is probilly having conversations with her girlfriends saying that YOU won't take it beyond kissing.
    You should do something romantic with her before going to stay at a hotel(let her know before hand that the two of you will be staying over) and when you've got her alone just let things progress. Women say they like things to just happen but things don't just happen we lead. Don't ask questions like "can I kiss you or can we have sex now" just do it but *very inportant* if she says STOP, NO or DON'T then listen and take heed there's no grey area in this its called rape if you continue. Anyway try to be confident and act like you know what your doing just think of it as progressing it one step at a time. Don't rush and you will be fine.

    Noob guide: Start with kissing before moving on to her breast. Caress them over her top then under her shirt. Remove her top(resist the urge to say "OMG BOOBIES") more boob play before moving on downstairs. Key word is "Gentle" over her panties first before moving them aside and stroking her lady parts only when she is wet do you put anything in. Again key words at this point Slowly and Gentle. Oh condoms can be mood killers so if you have never put one on before it might be an idea to practice alone.
    thats kind of the basic idea. Your doing this togather(duh!) but your leading.

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    • danyboy931
      13 years ago

      Thanx for advice :) but the noob guide is completely unnecessary though (I knew all that long time ago) :D anyway
      ... it`s just the situation as in in time, place and her actions, but not how I`m proceeding with pleasuring her as we are together, because I already am setting all the romantic moods and etc. all my friends (even girls) were like "aaaw" and said I`m doing good.
      I dunno.... maybe she isn`t the right girl for me?

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      • kinganarkzie
        13 years ago

        In which case then maybe you need to sit down and have a straght talk with her and find out how she feels about it. You've been togather six month's now, so do you get the feeling she's just saying "Oh yeah, let`s do it" because she feels pressured or do you think she really does want to go through with it? It's kind of hard on our end because we can't see you to togather to really gauge it.
        If your still unsure and you feel your leading as much as would be expected then I would say just sit her down and have a frank and open chat. If you feel she is unsure and might be feeling pressured(remember its not just you that she might be feeling pressured from,there's also peer pressure) then do it in a place that that want easily lead to sex so as not to come across as guilt triping her into bed(lame) and let her know that theres no pressure in saying the right thing and that you just want to know how she honestly feels. What ever she says let her know that the two of you having sex togather is not about appearing cool infront of both yours or her friends but its just about the two of you, girls do worry about stuff like that.
        Anyway good luck :)

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  • CandyMoon
    13 years ago

    Who fucking cares? Is the only thing guys think about sex?

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    • heeeeeeyyyy
      12 years ago

      No, sex is not the only thing guys think about. And the average woman thinks about sex as often or probably more often than the average man. We're biologically driven to be this way. If we weren't, the human race wouldn't have survived as long as it has.

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