Is it normal suicidal/dark thoughts but normal behavior?

70% Normal
5 Comments

Just to be clear, at the time I'm writing this, I don't ACTUALLY want to kill myself. I'm just not that serious now. When I think about suicide, it's more of a coping mechanism, as in "Yeah, well I could just kill myself. All my problems solved." But still I find myself thinking about it daily. Yet I act normal.

For example, today I was walking back to my apartment at about 5pm.

So at 5pm I was thinking of how it would be to jump off an overpass in my current city.

Then I got back to my apartment at about 5:15pm and talked to my roommate perfectly normally, like "Hey, how are you?" and then asked if she wanted to go the grocery store with me tomorrow.

is it normal to have some suicidal/dark thoughts but act normal?

Voting Results
70% Normal
Based on 27 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • ojimpu
    6 years ago

    "Just to be clear, at the time I'm writing this, I don't ACTUALLY want to kill myself. I'm just not that serious now." you were thinking of whether you should still live or die and nice to see you're still alive.

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  • ojimpu
    6 years ago

    You're in what people call a 'denial phase' that the 'it' is just another thought. I was able to get out of this phase gladly and decided, hell yeah I'm gonna give it my all! I fought depression all by myself, which is totally not healthy!

    Glad I'm healthy enough to look back at how much of a coward I was just because things didn't go my way! Hope that you are willing to open up about this with someone you trust. Suicide is a serious fucking matter and I hope you'd put more thought into it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      "Denial phase?" What am I denying?

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  • sandnigga
    7 years ago

    Like you said, a coping mechanism to possibly help with stress.

    Just like a punching bag is good to get rid of built up anger

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  • Whatintarnation
    7 years ago

    It's normal to have dark thoughts yes. Perhaps you might want to consider what in your life is driving those thoughts to the foreground though. Work on changing that or add something to your life that may be missing.

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