Is it normal still can't get over my ex 10 years later?

70% Normal
3 Comments

He broke up with me never told me why. We were together for 8 years and engaged.

It's been 10 years I've dated about 70 people. I went to online dating too to see if I could find someone and none of those panned out. Basically no one is even half the man he was and no one has made me as happy as he did. That and we had obscure things in common that probably less than 1% of the world has. There's just no one like him. I actually met him on a dating site. We had 100% match and answered over 200 questions and all were the same so yeah I suppose that's why no one else has been as much of a match.

Highest match percentage I get now is 85 if im lucky and they only answered 20 questions so that's far from accurate and more like 0%. I've gone to bars, museums, speed dating , cruises etc I've tried everything no one makes me feel good. I have tried therapy, meds, hypnosis to forget him, tried to do crazy things like spontaneously go sky diving to distract my brain but nothing helps. I can't describe to you how much I love him even after all these years.

I think he broke up with me only because he wasn't ready at the time. Because he never had a youth. He was in a broken home since he was 5, divorced parents one with manic depression and attempted suicide he had to be the parent to his mother. He never went out and when it was time to settle down he ran. He only dated after me 5 years ago so he waited 5 years to date after breaking up with me but even then I heard through a friend that was short lived and he's been single since.

I fantasize about contacting him but I wouldn't know what to say and if he wanted to contact me he would have right?

Is it normal I can't get over him?

Voting Results
70% Normal
Based on 10 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    Maybe he has moved on to the point of getting married maybe with kids. If you are not sure you can make discrete enquiries or get in touch directly. If he has moved on then don't rock the boat. Just accept it.

    It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

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  • Notderanged
    5 years ago

    If he wanted to contact me he would have right?

    You want to contact him, right? You obviously do since you fantasize about it but you haven't contacted him yet. Which means you want to but you haven't. Which could be the case for him too.

    If you say you have so much in common then he probably thinks the same way or similarly to how you think. Which means he probably wouldn't contact you even if he wanted.

    But to answer the original question, I think it's perfectly normal that you have not moved on.

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  • timeywimey
    5 years ago

    I have gone through something similar for the last 10 years. I'm a male, the depression was on my side, and I've been able to keep in contact with her a little bit because we are connected on social media.

    She's been single for 5 years, too!

    I went on about a million first dates with people that I felt no connection or interest in. I never went on a second date with any of them, and most of the time I stop communicating with them after the date. After a few years of this I said fuck it and decided to take a break from dating. That was 2013.

    I don't think it's normal, though. Seems like most people are able to move on after a few months at most. My ex moved on so fast that when I went back to the apartment a week after dumping her and moving out - to pick up my remaining things - another guy was living with her already.

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